Yesterday, Jude Law, Diego Luna, and Liev Schreiber were officially added to the cast of a yet-untitled feature film from Woody Allen. They’ll join Rebecca Hall, Annaleigh Ashford, Cherry Jones, Will Rogers (not that one—he’s dead and he wouldn’t work with Woody Allen, anyway), Kelly Rohrbach, Elle Fanning, Selena Gomez and up-and-comer Timothée Chalamet, co-star of the festival favorite Call Me By Your Name. This untitled Allen film is one of two that the prolific director has in the works; the other, Wonder Wheel, debuts at the New York Film Festival later this month and stars Kate Winslet, Juno Temple, Debi Mazar, Justin Timberlake, James Belushi and Max Casella. And thus, the cry went up, as it does every year at some time or another: Why do all these actors I like, in many cases love, keep working with an abusive creep like Allen? (Yeah, Kate Winslet and Kristen Stewart, I’m looking at you.)
Here, for your benefit, is a partial list of actors who have not yet succumbed to the siren call of working with one of Hollywood’s most famous sex offenders.
Moses—I mean John Boyega—would never betray us.
Congratulations on never working with Woody Allen, Dame Judi Dench!
Colin Hanks! Nice call.
Gabrielle Union, I appreciate all you do, especially Bring It On and not aging and never working with Woody Allen.
Iiiit’s Neel Sethi, the little kid from The Jungle Book! He did one film, and Woody Allen was not involved in it in any way.
Sam Neill. Great actor, great Twitter, never worked with Woody Allen.
Woody Allen was only nine when Leslie Howard died, but we’ll give Howard credit for never—not once!—working with him all the same.
Nice one, Oscar Isaac!
*does a sign of the cross to ward Daisy Ridley off all future Woody Allen movies*
The fact that Isabelle Huppert has never worked with Woody Allen is like her film career: n i c e.