9 Cultural Zeitgeists Arguably More Damaging Than Twilight

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | November 25, 2011 |

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | November 25, 2011 |

Yes, I realize that most of you are tired of reading and hearing about Breaking Dawn: Part I, but I’m not yet wearied from my general sense of bemusement over the outraged reaction that this franchise is absolutely ruining a generation of young, impressionable minds.

On the contrary, I believe that the latest installment of the Twilight Saga succeeded not because young people are unable to appreciate good films and literature but also because they have a sense of humor about the bad ones as well. Indeed, Summit Entertainment did a remarkable job of marketing the balls-out absurdity of this movie.

Seriously, Twilight isn’t going to kill our kids and destroy feminism just because it encourages abstinence. If anything, it might just result in a few less illegitimate children and maybe save a few people from STDs in the process. Is that really such an awful prospect?

Meanwhile, several other evils have persisted throughout our popular culture. Let’s do this:

Harry Potter: For encouraging witchcraft and swapping out actors for the same character during various installments. Poor Dumbledore.

Hair Bands: For misuse of spandex and willful destruction of the ozone layer through millions of cans of CFC-laden Rave hairspray.

The Beatles: For the spawning of endless generations of boy bands, including NKOTB, Backstreet Boys, and Jonas Brothers.

“Star Trek”: For Orion slave girls. Duh.

“Sex and the City”: For ridiculous consumerism and the iconic interpretation of the fashion sense of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Hipsters: For basically everything that fits the definition except for “Arrested Development.” And in regard to Michael Cera, for that too.

The Waif: For ensuring that virtually no young girl will ever be free from the temptation of eating disorders.

Flower Power: For smelling like patchouli and encouraging an unkempt lifestyle rampant with STDs.

And a little unexpected bonus number for you…

MC Hammer Pants: For nothing but the pants themselves.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.