Halloween is typically a night when women give a big old middle finger to the chilly fall weather and their own personal inhibitions to wear as little clothing as possible. For many women, this is an awesome time to dress in a way they never would the other 364 days of the year. However, not every woman has “must look hot” at the top of their costume consideration list. The sexy fairy princesses, sexy pizza rats, and sexy mismashes of whatever-it-doesn’t-have-to-make-sense-JUST-BE-SEXY may still rule this holiday, but let’s give a shoutout to those who choose a different path.
To be extra, extra clear: I am not saying that these women are not sexy or do not look good. They just clearly valued something else, anything else— physical comfort, emotional comfort, humor, weather appropriateness, literally anything— over the typical “sexiness” associated with Halloween. Some people really enjoy using the night as an excuse to show as much underbutt as possible, and that’s great! I salute your underbutt flaunting! But that’s not everyone’s idea of the perfect costume. For those who love Halloween and didn’t give a shit about being the sexiest cat at their party, these women get you.
Taylor Swift’s Olaf
Katy Perry’s Dropped Mic
Katy Perry has a history of absolutely crushing Halloween, and it’s the one day of the year when I really, truly think she’s great.
Tyra Banks’ Terrifying Richard Branson
Danneel Harris Ackles’s Garth
Miley Cyrus’ Tooth
Nicole Richie’s Jack Skellington
Heidi Klum’s Jessica Rabbit
Now, you may disagree with me on this one, since this costume just oozes sex. But the grotesque over-the-top cartoonishness, and the fact that most of the skin Klum is showing isn’t hers— it’s crazy prosthetics— puts this in the sex-as-art category, rather than the sexy costume one.
Chrissy Teigen’s Guy Fieri
Special honorary shout-out, even though this was a Halloween webisode and not actual night-of costumes, Abbi and Ilana win it all.