I want to issue a huge thank you to any and all marketing companies who are trying to use alcohol as a means of getting us to enjoy their content more. Here are seven examples of shows and movies doing just that, ranked by how well their boozy products actually enhance their content.
7. Lost’s Dharma Initiative beer
I can’t imagine you’d actually want to drink this beer. You could have bought the show props in a 2010 auction, but there’s no guarantee that it’s drinkable. And even if it’s not canned poison, it’s not like it could have improved the ending to this show. Still, if you ever plan a re-watch (or a first watch), you’d do better to print your own labels and glue them on actual, decent beer cans.
6. 50 Shades of Grey wine
This wine comes in “Red Satin” and “White Silk.” I’ve tried the red satin because I apparently hate myself. It is…. not good. “Leather” is listed as a taste component, and while I would never have placed that, I would definitely recognize this as a wine that thinks leather is a thing people want in their mouths.
Bonus: This is the most aggressively dominant cork I’ve ever seen in my life:
5. Spectre Belvedere
This vodka is nothing. It is a bottle of good vodka, nestled inside a semi-functional martini shaker, branded with words related to a franchise that has loose ties to vodka in general. It won’t make the movie better, but if you drink the whole bottle, you may not care.
4. Duff Beer
I don’t know if this available in the US yet, but I do know that I never want to visit Duff Gardens without a Duff in my hand again.
3. Heisenberg vodka
This should be at the bottom of the list, since it tastes like they filled a blue bottle with toilet vodka. But if you spend the $25, dump the original sewage contents, and then just drink your preferred non-garbage drink out of this bottle, you’ll have a fun time.