Yesterday, French website Comme au Cinema debuted three new photos from the upcoming cinematic adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s seemingly unfilmable On the Road. And what surprised me most about the images, besides the fact that they look like those GAP ads where rich white suburban kids attempt to affect the look of grungy disaffected hipsters, is that in this one, Kristen Stewart actually smiles. It almost looks earnest.
Source: Comme au Cinema, where the other two images also reside)
But we know better, don’t we? Kristen Stewart is genetically immune to happiness, or at least the kind that might evoke an actual authentic smile. I’ve never seen her display one, not the gleamy white Maybelline types that actually suggest Stewart is feeling a modicum of glee.
I don’t think she feels at all. Ninety percent of the time, she looks like every pissed off teenage girl who has just been told by her father that she can’t go to the Mars Volta concert. And on the rare occasion when she attempts to smile, she looks like she’s being forced to do so by her handlers. “Show them your teeth, honey. Give them a Miss Kentucy smile?” And then she smiles in a way that says, “Go fuck yourself. I’d rather be at home not washing my hair.”
Proof? Here it is: Five instances of Kristen Stewart displaying that trademark painfully uncomfortable grin.