12 percent of all children who watch “Spongebob Squarepants” more than once a week exhibit the same symptoms seen in people with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Caillou was created by French Canadians to destroy the United States by slowly driving American parents insane.
The reason Granny in the “Sylvester and Tweety” cartoons is so often dozing is because she’s an alcoholic sleeping off hangovers.
Mr. Rogers demonstrated how thin the line between endearing and pervy really is; he was a windowless van, a sack of candy, and two decades away from being the television personality parents were most afraid of.
Britney Spears’ early fashion sense was modeled after Rainbow Brite.
The first TV couple to ever sleep in the same bed was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
The average Looney Tunes short contains more pop cultural references than an episode of “Community.”
Mr. Slim Goodbody is easily the creepiest children’s TV character of all time.
Sid and Marty Krofft injected delayed subliminal messages into their television programs to ensure that hippie children would one day grow up to be Republicans.
Elmo’s voice was originally created in a laboratory by the CIA during experimental torture testing.
Ruby, from “Ruby and Max” is a controlling, conniving bitch who never learns anything from her experiences, but she’s only half the bitch that “Charlie Brown’s” Lucy is.
Steven Burns, former host of “Blue’s Clues” (and current rock musician) is the children’s television character with whom you’d most want to get drunk.
In 2009, TV Guide named “Barney & Friends” one of the 50 Worst Television Show of All Time.
The Cookie Monster, whose cholesterol level is 290, is the best “Sesame Street” character, followed closely by Grover.
Rubber Duckies were not popular bath toys until the 1970s, when Jim Henson basically created the market for them with Ernie’s song, “Rubber Duckie.” Thanks to Henson, millions of Rubber Ducks have been manufactured and sold over the last 40 years.
The FCC requires all networks to air at least three hours of educational children’s television per week; in the 90s, NBC labeled “Saved by the Bell” as an educational show to get around airing cartoons.
“Muppet Babies” is the greatest Saturday morning cartoon of all time.
83 percent of people who argue that “Dungeons and Dragons” was the greatest Saturday morning cartoon of all time will die a virgin.
“Bobby’s World” was the worst Saturday morning cartoon of all time.
There are countless terrible Saturday morning cartoon theme songs, but Rick Moranis’ “Gravedale High” was the worst.
There were several decent Saturday morning cartoons based on movies, including “Beetlejuice” and “Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters.” Not included among the list of decent Saturday morning cartoons based on movies are “Back to the Future: The Animated Series” and “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures.” They were terrible.
The Wonder Twins were useless, but not as useless as Wendy Harris and Marvin White, who were as useless to the SuperFriends as Apache Chief was offensive.
The first computer animated cartoon series was “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” which began using computer animation in its second season. It was cancelled 8 episodes later.
Hound was the most underrated Transformer.
The best children’s cartoon of the 90s was “Ren & Stimpy.”
The best lesbian cartoon scene that was never filmed was the make out scene between Trixie from “Speed Racer” and “Scooby Doo’s” Daphne.
As far as hot cartoon dudes go, “X-Men’s” Gambit is the hunkiest.
In a career chock full of them, “The Cat in the Hat” is Martin Short’s most annoying character.
Pokemon stimulates same part of the brain in children as heroin.
Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.