2014 Summer Movie Roundup, High School Superlatives Edition

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | August 14, 2014 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | August 14, 2014 |

This weekend sees the release of the last of the big summer movies, THe Expendables 3 and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. After that it’s a bunch of dull shit until awards season kicks into gear (for the most part—can’t forget about Dolphin Tale 2!).

But September being a pit of despair, film-wise, does have the upside of giving our wallets time to recover from the summer movie season. There was good. There was bad. Let’s relive it all with HIGH SCHOOL SUPERLATIVES.

(I was “Most changed,” by the way. What a cop-out. Readers, you get anything?)

MVP

Class Clown

Andy Dwyer, I will love you until the end of my days, but there was a standout in Guardians of the Galaxy, and it wasn’t you. We were expecting your comedy chops.

Most Wasted Potential

Luc Besson made “Scarlett Johansson Kicking Ass: The Movie,” and somehow it still sucked.

Unsung Hero

Most Likely to Succeed

In general. At all things.

Worst Dressed

Biggest Bully

Fucked up, Dreamworks.

“Wait, they went to school here?”

Worst Person In the World

Most Likely to Become An Axe Murderer

Disagree with my choices? Take a hike! Or tell me what you’d have picked instead. I am a kind, reasonable person. *eyedart*