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16 Out-of-Context Insults Republicans Could Use Against Obama that Are More Insulting than Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | May 17, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | May 17, 2012 |

In case you haven’t heard, the NYTimes is reporting that Joe Rickets — the founder of the brokerage firm TD Ameritrade, and the patriarch of the Chicago family that owns the Cubs — is funding a Republican Super PAC effort to the tune of $10 million that’s apparently meant to provocatively paint President Obama as a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.”

Metrosexual black Abe Lincoln? That sounds like an AWESOME candidate. I would vote for that guy early and often. What’s not to love? The values of Abe Lincoln and the fashion style of, oh, I don’t know: Jake Gyllenhaal, Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, David Beckham? Why wouldn’t I vote for that guy?

Indeed, I think the GOP Super PACs can do a lot better than “metrosexual black Abe Lincoln.” It’s really not hard to scan a few photos of Obama and come up with far more cutting out-of-context insults. Like, say, these, for instance.

His Terrible Whistling Can Clear a Room


He’s Been Known to Contribute to the Delinquency of Minors


He’s a Close Talker


He Passes Gas When His Wife Walks By and Often Blames It On Her


He Hates White People


He Sleeps on the Job


He’ll Steal the Dandelion-Blowing Thunder Away from Children


He’s Gay for Clooney


He’s an Angry Alcoholic


He’s a Disapproving Jerk


He’s the Woman in the Spooning Position


He’s a Terrible Driver


Jeez, Dude! Again with the Close Talking


He’s Possessed by Demonic Forces


He Kowtows to Children

Boy feels Obama's hair.jpg

He Negotiates with Pirates


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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.