16 Out-of-Context Insults Republicans Could Use Against Obama that Are More Insulting than Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | May 17, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | May 17, 2012 |

In case you haven’t heard, the NYTimes is reporting that Joe Rickets — the founder of the brokerage firm TD Ameritrade, and the patriarch of the Chicago family that owns the Cubs — is funding a Republican Super PAC effort to the tune of $10 million that’s apparently meant to provocatively paint President Obama as a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.”

Metrosexual black Abe Lincoln? That sounds like an AWESOME candidate. I would vote for that guy early and often. What’s not to love? The values of Abe Lincoln and the fashion style of, oh, I don’t know: Jake Gyllenhaal, Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, David Beckham? Why wouldn’t I vote for that guy?

Indeed, I think the GOP Super PACs can do a lot better than “metrosexual black Abe Lincoln.” It’s really not hard to scan a few photos of Obama and come up with far more cutting out-of-context insults. Like, say, these, for instance.

His Terrible Whistling Can Clear a Room

He’s Been Known to Contribute to the Delinquency of Minors

He’s a Close Talker

He Passes Gas When His Wife Walks By and Often Blames It On Her

He Hates White People

He Sleeps on the Job

He’ll Steal the Dandelion-Blowing Thunder Away from Children

He’s Gay for Clooney

He’s an Angry Alcoholic

He’s a Disapproving Jerk

He’s the Woman in the Spooning Position

He’s a Terrible Driver

Jeez, Dude! Again with the Close Talking

He’s Possessed by Demonic Forces

He Kowtows to Children

He Negotiates with Pirates