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15 Things I Learned From Penis Museum Documentary 'The Final Member'

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | April 17, 2014 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | April 17, 2014 |


Starting with number one: There is a penis museum in Husavik, Iceland (Edit: It’s since moved to Reykjavík, so adjust your travel plans accordingly). A museum. Devoted to penises. A documentary about it, The Final Member, comes out in theaters and on VOD tomorrow, via Drafthouse Films. I got to go to a press screening of it, because I love my job. Here’s what I found out:

  • Sending out word that you need a human specimen for your penis museum is surprisingly fruitful. In fact, it’s so fruitful that one can build an entire documentary around the choosing of the johnson.
  • An Icelandic fairy tale sets out a “legal length” for penises.
  • Related: Icelandic fairy tales are f*cking awesome.
  • The smallest mammalian penis belongs to the hamster.
  • Documentaries about penis museums can be surprisingly heartfelt and emotional.
  • And hilarious, which isn’t so surprising.
  • Shrinkage is more dramatic than Seinfeld ever prepared me for.
  • There exists in the world a man with the stars and stripes tattooed on the head of his wanger. There are probably more than one, actually, but I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me.
  • The aforementioned patriotic wang is named Elmo. The man named his penis Elmo.
  • Elmo has his own comic book.
  • I really want a walking stick made out of a bull’s penis bone.
  • Show penis museum curator Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson slicing open an animal penis for his collection, and every dude in the room will wince.
  • Shriveled old man penises: Not attractive. I’d figured that one, but now I know for sure.
  • You can’t just walk into a doctor’s office and ask them to cut off one’s meat and two veg. Scandalous.

In case you’re straddling the fence about whether you want to watch a penis museum documentary, here’s the trailer:

But if you have your head on straight and know that you absolutely do want to watch a penis museum documentary, here’s screening information. You can thank me later.

This is the second penis-related article Rebecca Pahle’s written for Pajiba in two weeks. She’s not quite sure what to think about that.





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