I am a total chickenshit when it comes to watching scary movies. I love them, but I peek through my fingers, and I’ll jump and cringe at the silliest things. The good thing is, when the show’s over you can turn up the lights and get your ‘fraidy cat brain back to relative safety, but these prospects? Holy shit, who’s going to save our souls?
1. Donald Trump Is a Presidential Candidate.
“They’re going to build a plant and illegals are going drive those cars right over the border. And they’ll probably end up stealing the cars.
When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”
Trump could be our next president.
2. Jeb Bush Is a Presidential Candidate.
Speaking against gun control after the UCC shootings in Roseburg, Oregon: “We’re in a difficult time in our country and I don’t think more government is necessarily the answer to this…Look, stuff happens and the impulse is always to do something and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.”
Another Bush could be our next president.
3. Ted Cruz Is a Presidential Candidate.
“Instead of a federal government that works to undermine our values, imagine a federal government that works to defend the sanctity of human life and to uphold the sacrament of marriage.
[Embracing marriage equality] is an unrelenting assault on traditional marriage.”
Cruz could be our next president.
4. Ben Carson Is a Presidential Candidate.
Speaking about abortion and women who are “riled up” because of a non-existent war on women: “What we need to do is re-educate the women to understand that they are the defenders of these babies.”
Carson could be our next president.
5. Carly Fiorina Is a Presidential Candidate.
Fiorina would vote to overturn Roe v Wade, and wants to defund Planned Parenthood. Referencing faked PP videos, Fiorina insisted, “Rest assured that human lives are being aborted, fully formed, in order to harvest body parts. Rest assured that this erodes at the character of our nation.”
Fiorina could be our next president.
6. Chris Christie Is a Presidential Candidate.
As governor of New Jersey, Christie has proudly vetoed Planned Parenthood funding six times, and if elected president, intends to defund PP, nationwide. “Now, with the most recent revelation, there’s even more reason not to fund Planned Parenthood. I’ve vetoed funding for Planned Parenthood and if I were president of the United States I would do exactly the same.”
Christie could be our next president.
7. Lindsey Graham Is a Presidential Candidate.
In his statements about pushing forward a nationwide ban on abortion, Graham said “I’m going to do more than bring my bill up. I’m going to need your help to find a way out of this definitional problem of rape.”
Graham could be our next president.
8. Mike Huckabee Is a Presidential Candidate.
In a discussion of the United States criminal justice system on Mickelson in the Morning, Huckabee agreed with the hosts suggestion that we look back at the Book of Exodus for solutions, and instead of jail, we should sell convicts into slavery. Mickelson: “Wouldn’t that be a better choice?” Huckabee: “Well, it really would be. Sometimes the best way to deal with a nonviolent criminal behavior is what you just suggested.”
Huckabee could be our next president.
9. Bobby Jindal Is a Presidential Candidate.
Jindal wants a no-exceptions abortion ban, and thinks women who would get an abortion are criminals; he’s also signed into Louisiana law a requirement for any woman seeking an abortion to first have an ultrasound (24 hours before) so the fetal heartbeat will be audible to her, and doctors must describe the ultrasound to her. “When officers arrest criminals today, they are read their rights. Now if we’re giving criminals their basic rights and they have to be informed of those rights, it seems to me only common sense we would have to do the same thing for women before they make the choice about whether to get an abortion.”
Jindal could be our next president.
10. Rick Santorum Is a Presidential Candidate.
Santorum believes sex should only occur within the confines of a heterosexual marriage, and would not only defund Planned Parenthood, but also support states banning contraception. “Many in the Christian faith have said, ‘Well, that’s okay, contraception is okay.’ It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”
11. John Kasich Is a Presidential Candidate.
Kasich has also signed into law anti-abortion measures including required ultrasounds, restricting doctors who provide abortions from making transfer agreements with hospitals, defunding Planned Parenthood, and creating fund restrictions to crisis centers who provide abortion counseling to victims of sexual assault.
Kasich could be our next president.
There’s no covering our eyes to any of this shit, is there? I think I’ll go relax with something like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.