August 2014: What a complete and utter bitch of a month that was, amirite? Luckily it’s September now and we can all go back to having no problems in our lives whatsoever. But if you need some catharsis before you can start the healing progress, take a walk down memory lane with me and relive just what made the last four weeks so godawful shitcanoeing terrible. Then watch these ten movies to maybe make you feel not so awful about life, the universe, and everything. They’re all available on Netflix Instant because I have your best interests at heart, Pajiba readers, and not because I’m slowly buttering you up in preparation for my hostile takeover. I mean what?
In no particular order:
To watch on Netflix: Hook. I hesitated about classifying this one as “feel-good,” because, while it definitely is, watching it in the context of Williams’ death brings a fair helping of bitter along with the sweet. But screw it. Like I’m not going to recommend Hook.
To watch on Netflix: Jumanji. See above, re: Hook. Also, we all need more Bebe Neuwirth in our lives.
To watch on Netflix: Boy, a delightful New Zealand coming-of-age comedy by Flight of the Conchords writer/director Taika Waititi, who also co-stars. It’s not all happy good times, as there is some family angst, but there’s also the scene above, a Maori-inspired “Thriller” homage. You know what to do.
To watch on Netflix: I’m cheating a bit in recommending The Spoils of Babylon, since it’s a miniseries and not a movie, but seriously, why haven’t you watched Spoils?! For those not in the know (like my parents, before I made them watch it), this is a satire of overdramatic event miniseries (miniserieses?) starring Will Ferrell, Tobey Maguire, Kristen Wiig, Tim Robbins, an unexpectedly funny Haley Joel Osment, and more. This show got Wiig her seventh Emmy nomination, and watching her slap fight with Jessica Alba it’s easy to see why.
To watch on Netflix: “When the month has sucked. And you’re feeling blue. Whatcha gonna watch? Ghostbusters!
Richard Attenborough, too. August, stahp.
To watch on Netflix: Clueless, possibly the best Jane Austen adaptation that’s ever been. Sorry, Colin Firth, but Cher’s immigration speech has you beat.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out. Not that this is even on the same scale as most the other things on this list, but skipping over to a different, stupider scale, you have to admit the release of TMNT was not a high point.
To watch on Netflix: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, in which Frances McDormand is awesome, Amy Adams is charming, Ciarán Hinds’s voice does things to me, and Lee Pace sings. I may not be an old-timer, Pajibans, but I think I know how you feel about that.
People were misogynistic dicks about video games. It’s not like people aren’t misogynistic dicks about video games every single month of the year, but things have certainly have come to a head recently with the backlash against Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian.
To watch on Netflix: Airheads. Don’t lie to me and say you don’t love this movie. I will not accept it.
It was hot as balls. I hate summer.
To watch on Netflix: Zoolander. Cool down with some Blue Steel as you make it through the last few weeks of summer smearing its sweaty, disgusting balls all over your face every time you go outside. You hear that, Mom?! I am a legit, serious writer!
And just when we thought we were out… on August 31st nude photos were stolen from the iCloud accounts of dozens of celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence. We had one day left, universe!
To watch on Netflix: Amélie, that most feel-good of feel-good movies.
At least September can’t be worse, right?