This weekend Kit Harington took a jaunt to ancient times for Pompeii, which is basically Titanic, but with a volcano. I didn’t actually see it. The reviews were bad, and I watched both Endless Love and Winter’s Tale for you last week, guys. There are limits. But seeing Jon Snow’s abs all over the Internet did get me thinking: What movies and TV shows should other Game of Thrones characters venture over to? Not actors. That option doesn’t allow me to nerd out over Brienne of Tarth nearly enough.
Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish - The Walking Dead
Why Westeros’ resident slimy weasel in this zombiepalooza? Simple. The Walking Dead has a really high body count, and I need to see this frakker die, like yesterday. Acceptable movies include 300 and The Raid: Redemption.
Robb and Talisa Stark - You’ve Got Mail
On the flip side, the happy Stark newlyweds belong in a happy romcom where they can be starcrossed lovers and nobody dies.
Arya Stark - The Hunger Games
Katniss is good with a bow and arrow and all, but I think we know who’d win The Hunger Games if Little Miss Murder were in the mix. Arya would also be right at home in Léon: The Professional.
Daenerys Targaryen: Pete’s Dragon
“Why are you singing? Have you no homeland to reclaim?! No enemies to burn alive? Dracarys!”
Stannis Baratheon: Terms of Endearment
I can’t imagine Stannis, Mr. I-Won’t-Write-In-My-Brother’s-Obituary-That-I-Loved-Him-Because-I-Didn’t, would do particularly well in a touchy-feel family drama like Terms of Endearment. It’d be hilarious, though. All the tooth-grinding. “Stannis, I never truly appreciated my daughter until I started to lose her!” “Yeah, I felt the same way about my brother Renly. Except instead of cancer, he was killed by a shadow demon baby demon that I sent to assassinate him. And it was for the good of the realm, so I really don’t regret it at all. But other than that, exactly the same.”
Brienne of Tarth: Xena: Warrior Princess
I’m not suggesting that Brienne actually be Xena, because the very thought of someone other than Lucy Lawless in that role simply does not compute. That said, there were plenty of dudes in that show who needed their asses kicked, and I’m pretty sure A Song of Ice and Fire’s sole lady knight would have no problem carving out a niche for herself. She can bring Maege Mormont along. They’ll have fun.
Tywin Lannister: Downton Abbey
The Lannister patriarch needs to be in a show where he can slap some fools down. Is there any better option than Downton? Any time Lord Grantham is about to make a stupid decision (aka ALL THE TIME) or Daisy gets melodramatic, he can just glare them into submission… and, if it comes to it, march into the front hall and take over the estate. Hey, Grantham owes him money. The Lannisters always pay their debts.
Cersei Lannister - Toddlers & Tiaras
Or basically any reality show, at least the ones that don’t require you to have talent in a specific area. Survivor. The Amazing Race. Cersei is drunk and angry all the time, and her default mode is disdain for all the peons who think they can do better than her. We’d see our first reality show homicide with her in the cast.
Samwell Tarly: The Lord of the Rings
Never mind, he’s already there.
Rebecca is Team Dragonstone. All hail Stannis the Mannis, the Besteros in Westeros.