10 (Mostly) Magnificent Bastards (Who Get Away with Everything)

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | November 28, 2012 |

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | November 28, 2012 |

For this list, I’ve deviated somewhat from the standardly accepted Magnificent Bastard trope as defined by Patton. This list does not concern characters played by particular actors but revolves around the actors themselves and their crotchety attitudes towards fame and acting (plus various other entities). These guys (and a girl) are utterly brilliant actors but are rather villain-esque in an everyday capacity. They bitch and they moan and aren’t terribly likable during interviews, but they still manage to be so amazing at their jobs that they are almost universally forgiven for their plain-clothes faults. We are therefore willing to suspend our disbelief over these actors’ real-life bad attitude because they’re so goddamn compelling and charismatic in an onscreen capacity. Obviously, this list includes far more men than women because when women complain about the acting profession (see Katherine Heigl), these things are not so easily forgiven. Yes, that sucks.

Daniel Craig: “I’ve been trying to get out of this from the very moment I got into it. But they won’t let me go, and I’ve agreed to do a couple more, but let’s see how this one does, because business is business and if the shit goes down, I’ve got a contract that somebody will happily wipe their ass with.” — Rolling Stone

John Malkovich: “Look, I don’t need to be liked.” — Independent

Tilda Swinton: “I’m not really interested in acting. I’ve given up waiting for an epiphany of interest to strike. Acting is a red herring and a major mistake and I’m still trying to get back on track.” - UK’s Daily Express

Clint Eastwood: “If somebody’s dumb enough to ask me to go to a political convention and say something, they’re gonna have to take what they get. People loved it or hated it and that’s fine. That’s what it was supposed to be.” — NY Daily News

Christian Bale: “Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lights down, in the middle of a scene? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-dah, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? What don’t you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it’s fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the fucking scene? Give me a fucking answer! What don’t you get about it?” — Telegraph

Alec Baldwin: “I am going to get on a plane and I am going to come out there for the day and I am going to straighten your ass out when I see you. Do you understand me? I’m going to really make sure you get it. Then I’m going to get on a plane and I’m going to turn around and come home. So you’d better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me. So I’m going to let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig, OK?” — National Ledger

Mark Wahlberg: “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” — HuffPo

Jared Leto: “I think that blogging should die a sudden death. It’s just ridiculous. It’s like a playground for four-year-olds. Pretty soon anybody with a cell phone is going to be able to be a news reporter. The blog is yesterday’s parachute pants. It’s here now but it’s gone tomorrow” - Best Week Ever

Ben Affleck: “What was that guy’s name who killed his wife and dumped her off the side of a boat? Peterson. I remember thinking he actually gets slightly better treatment than I do in the press. At least they had to say ‘alleged killer.’ Unfortunately there’s an aspect of that that’s like one of those fights you see on YouTube where one of them falls down and then a bunch of people who were standing around come over and kick the person. They don’t know them, they have no involvement in the fight, but they recognize a moment that they can get a free shot in, and for some people it”s just too much to resist. And that was definitely me at that point. I was the guy. I was the designated person to loathe.” — GQ

Mel Gibson? Not a magnificent bastard.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.