'Preacher' Recap: As Long As It's Only Anal Sex, You Can Still Go To Heaven

By Brian Richards | Preacher | July 5, 2017 |

By Brian Richards | Preacher | July 5, 2017 |

Previously on Preacher: Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy are on a mission to find God, who has abandoned Heaven and all of His followers, and The Saint Of Killers is on a mission to bust many a cap in many an ass as he goes after both Jesse and Genesis.

THE STORY SO FAR: Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy have learned that apparently, God is quite the fan of jazz music, so they head down to New Orleans to see if He is there. Tulip has history with people in New Orleans, people who she has no desire whatsoever to cross paths with again. And we also find out what Eugene a.k.a. Arseface has been up to since we last saw him, and for real this time, not because he’s a figment of Jesse’s imagination/guilty conscience.

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: We learned the truth/whole truth/nothing but the truth as to how Eugene earned the nickname of Arseface. Apparently, Tracy Loach (the comatose teenage girl from last season) called Eugene over to her house to help carry out her list of demands as part of her suicide attempt over the loss of her boyfriend and her reputation being ruined. Despite Eugene telling her that suicide isn’t the answer and convincing her to not pull the trigger on her double-barreled shotgun, Eugene then causes her to change her mind, with plenty of disgust, when he attempts to kiss her. This causes her to reconsider suicide and she attempts to blast her own face off, but not before Eugene manages to deflect the shot and it only takes off the top of her head. And of course when Mrs. Loach comes up to Tracy’s locked bedroom door wanting to know what’s going on between Eugene and her daughter, Eugene (seeing himself as having no options whatsoever) decides to take up the shotgun and blow his own head off as well. Which clearly didn’t work out.

And now that we know the truth about Eugene’s history with Tracy and that he didn’t actually attempt a murder-suicide on a teenage girl because she didn’t want to be with him, I guess we can go back to liking him and feeling sympathy for his plight. Especially since we actually see him being held captive in the depths of Hell, alongside Adolf Hitler and many other prisoners who apparently are able to walk around freely, as their cell doors are now unlocked and open and unsupervised. Probably because of the whole “God abandoning everyone and pulling a disappearing act” thing.

The fight scene between Jesse and the Tom Wolfe Fan Club a.k.a. the Men In White Suits & Red Ties, which was like something out of John Wick, minus the numerous headshots and death-by-pencil stabbings. This scene accomplished two things: 1) It reminded us that even without the help of Genesis, Jesse (much like Tulip) is not to be fucked with and anyone who ignores that does so at their own peril 2) It introduced us to, in the words of jazz-bar singer Lara after being rescued by Jesse, the ‘super-secret crypto-religious fascist organization with designs on total world domination’ known as The Grail. And not only do we find out that both Lara and the bartender who sent Jesse to the jazz-bar to look for her (played by Malcolm Barrett from the short-lived and still-missed Better Off Ted and the almost-short-lived-but-miraculously-brought-back-for-a-second season-right-after-it-was-cancelled Timeless) are actually members of The Grail working undercover to see if Jesse and Genesis are the real deal (and it looks like they’re both Featherstone and Hoover), but we finally see one of The Grail’s most feared and deadliest operatives, Herr Starr. (And this time, we see him up close and not from a distance as he’s walking away from the secret snuff-film festival that he’s attending, like we briefly did last season)

Cassidy putting his foot down with Tulip and reminding her of how resourceful and helpful he’s been (and that he’s not just some ‘idiot Irish sidekick’) while demanding some answers as to why being in New Orleans has her all freaked out.

Tulip deciding to finally stop running away from what’s been scaring her in New Orleans and deal with Viktor, allowing herself to be captured by his associates while heading out for cigarettes. Lots of cigarettes.

Apparently, God in New Orleans (if you’re Jesse and you’re going from bar to bar and telling the bartenders that you’re looking for Him) comes in the form of a man in a tight, form-fitting dalmatian outfit and a woman holding him by the leash.

(In case you thought I was making this shit up…)

And any and all sex acts with said man in the dalmatian outfit (complete with large, studded dildos) do not come cheap. (Twelve thousand dollars?) Which doesn’t really explain why his eyes are dark and lifeless enough to make you wonder if he’s been possessed by the black oil from The X-Files a.k.a. The Show In Desperate Need Of Some Women And Non-White People In Their Writers Room, Especially If This Season Is Going To Be More Watchable Than The Last One.

WHAT’S NOT SO GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: Tulip doing her part to play around with the Idiot Ball just a little and streeeeeetch out her plot by not telling Jesse what he needs to know and blaming it all on that fearsome temper of his.

ODIN QUINCANNON’S WEEKLY MOMENT OF WEIRDNESS: If you’re still not paying attention, Odin Quincannon (along with every other resident of Annville, Texas) is dead and gone. If any other character starts exhibiting many a moment of weirdness in every episode, I’m hoping/guessing that it’s Herr Starr.

ANY MENTIONS OF THE VAMPIRE-HUNTING VIGILANTES LOOKING FOR CASSIDY?: No.

ANY MENTIONS OF EUGENE A.K.A. ARSEFACE?: Scroll back up to the “What’s Good About This Episode” section for the answer to your question.

ANY MENTIONS OF HOW MUCH CASSIDY REALLY DOESN’T LIKE THE BIG LEBOWSKI?: No, but he does go on about how fond he is of tacos. And not just tacos, but Mexican tacos. Now that I mention it, I could really go for some tacos right about now.

TO SUM IT ALL UP: This episode was an entertaining one that continues to keep up the momentum from last week’s two-night season premiere while also making it clear that shit is about to go down, questions are about to be asked (that we care about) and also answered (and clearly at a faster and more satisfying manner than anything we’ve seen on The Walking Dead, although I don’t expect us to get answers about that one folder on Herr Starr’s desk labeled ‘Pig’).

I’m really looking forward to seeing what comes next, which is something I didn’t get to say nearly as much as I wanted to while watching Preacher last season.

This episode of Preacher has been brought to you by “Part 1: Acknowledgement” by John Coltrane: