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We're America, Bitch

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 12, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 12, 2018 |


In case you missed it, Jeffrey Goldberg over on The Atlantic reported this yesterday, which sounds like something straight out of the South Park movie:

The best distillation of the Trump Doctrine I heard, though, came from a senior White House official with direct access to the president and his thinking. I was talking to this person several weeks ago, and I said, by way of introduction, that I thought it might perhaps be too early to discern a definitive Trump Doctrine.

“No,” the official said. “There’s definitely a Trump Doctrine.”

“What is it?” I asked. Here is the answer I received:

“The Trump Doctrine is ‘We’re America, Bitch.’ That’s the Trump Doctrine.”

That’s right, “We’re America, Bitch.” We own more guns, have more gun-related homicides, and more mass shootings than any other country!

“We’re America, bitch.” With four percent of the world’s population, we lead the planet in drug overdoes by a mile — 27 percent of the world’s drug overdoses happen in the United States.

“We’re America, bitch,” where women who seek asylum because of domestic violence are arrested at the border and their children are stripped away from them, and four-year-olds are forced to make their own asylum claims in court without the assistance of their parents or a lawyer.

“We’re America, bitch,” where it’s more difficult — and getting even harder — for people of color to vote, in a country where only 55 percent of eligible voters actually exercise their right to vote, and why should they in a country where — in some states — because of gerrymandering, one political party can win 61 percent of positions with only 48 percent of the vote.

“We’re America, bitch,” where despite having only 4 percent of the world’s population, we have 21 percent of the world’s prisoners, and where black people are incarcerated at 5 times the rate of white people.

“We’re America, bitch,” where the President of the United States will call you a “son of a bitch,” if you peacefully protest police brutality in a country where police officers kill someone once every seven hours, and where black people are twice as likely to be killed by a police officer than white people, and where the indictment rate for police officers who use deadly force is less than 1 percent.

“We’re America, bitch,” where the richest 1 percent own 38 percent of all the nation’s wealth while the bottom 90 percent own 73 percent of all the nation’s debt.

“We’re America, bitch,” home of the worst healthcare system among wealthy nations, where 44 percent of poor people have difficulties accessing basic health care services.

“We’re America, bitch,” where teachers — on average — are paid 60 percent less than others with similar levels of education.

“We’re America, bitch,” where — despite a reputation for the “American Dream” — rates of upward mobility in the United States is the lowest among the nine wealthiest nations. Where the median income for white families is $62,000 while it is $36,000 for black families,

We are America, bitch. We are proudly mediocre, and maybe that’s not something we should be boasting about as much as Trump Administration seems to think we should.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.