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As the Shutdown Enters Its 21st Day ... Wait, What the Hell is Wrong with Ted Cruz's Face?

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 11, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 11, 2019 |


Today, the government shutdown enters its 21st day, tied for the longest shutdown in American history. Those effects are beginning to be felt in a number of places. It’s affecting house sales, because government-backed mortgages are not available; parks are full of trash because there’s no one there to clean up; air traffic controllers, who are not getting paychecks, are calling in sick, stretching resources thin; some government employees are quitting; some are working second jobs; food inspection has been suspended; and ironically, the already backlogged immigration courts are closed, among many other things. An extended shutdown could have devastating effects on the economy.

Meanwhile, Trump is not only considering declaring a national emergency, but he’s also thinking about diverting disaster aid from Puerto Rico, California, Florida, and Texas, and using that money to the build the wall. That dumbass is hellbent on building a pointless wall, and he’s holding the country hostage. Yesterday, he traveled to the border in Texas for no reason whatsoever. He did say that “obviously” he never said Mexico would pay for the wall directly, and there’s no reason to even fact check that because the lie is so obvio …. wait, is that Ted Cruz at the border with Trump? WHAT IS THAT THING ON HIS FACE? Did he put a literal silver fox on his face after it was run over by an 18-wheeler? Is he breeding seed ticks? On his face?

What the f*ck is that?

I had not actually seen the beard when Ted Cruz tweeted this a couple of days ago, and having actually seen that thing on his face this tweet moves from gross, shameless, and delusional to outright farcical.

If peace in the Middle East is dependent upon that beard, the Middle East is f**ked, because that beard looks like mold on a mishappen coconut.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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