Trump Likes His Briefings With "as Little [Words] as Possible," and Same, I Guess
Donald Trump’s popularity with the brash, “non-PC” residents of the Rust Belt was arguably his relatability — he said what was on his mind and didn’t care what people thought of him; he was as brave as they’d always aspired to be (although to humans with some semblance of decency, on the contrary, his actions were just the cowardly bullying of the vulnerable). But personally, I was never able to relate to Trump — or that is, until now.
According to a new report, Trump likes his briefings with “as little [words] as possible,” and as a college student pursuing the ever delightful humanities, I can honestly say same, dude, same. Except there’s a slight difference between my situation and Trump’s, and it’s that a whole nation of people isn’t relying on me to thoroughly understand situations and put in my best effort to educate myself to advance the best interests of millions of Americans who are relying on me.
“I’ve had a lot of briefings that are very… I don’t want to say ‘scary,’ because I’ll solve the problems,” Trump told Axios reporters. “But … we have some big enemies out there in this country and we have some very big enemies — very big and, in some cases, strong enemies.”
He added, specifically: “I like bullets or I like as little as possible,” Trump added. “I don’t need, you know, 200-page reports on something that can be handled on a page. That I can tell you.” Trump is basically the kid who would rather read Sparknotes or some super condensed study guide than the actual book, the only difference being that all of our lives are at stake because of his insufferable but admittedly relatable, child-like laziness. The man has the attention span of a gnat, and we could all seriously suffer the consequences of this.
According to one report by the New York Times, Trump has yet to have read a single page of the Obama administration’s prepared 1,000 pages of “classified material on North Korea’s nuclear program, the military campaign against the Islamic State, tensions in the South China Sea, and every other kind of threat the new team could face in its first weeks in office.”
This is partly due to numerous delays in Trump’s transition team after former whipping boy Chris Christie was ousted, but I don’t doubt also because of Trump’s outright laziness. We’re in for a rough four years, I am honestly terrified, and Trump is the absolute worst, but, again… same.
- What if 'Independence Day' with Will Smith is a Warning?
- With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: Voting for the Pajiba 10 Begins Now
- The 10 Best Movies Of 2019 So Far
- Meghan McCain Wants to Quit 'The View' (WHY, GOD?!)
- 'Yesterday' Is A Love Letter To East Anglia