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Everything Trump Touches Turns to Sh*t, Even Things That Were Already Shit, Like Stephen Bannon

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 9, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 9, 2018 |


Stephen Bannon is stepping down from Breitbart News, according to The Washington Post. It’s not a huge surprise, as he had been facing pressure to do so since the release of Michael Wolff’s book. He’s lost all his allies and his financial backing. I think that probably a lot (most?) of what Stephen Bannon said in the book was true, but also, Stephen Bannon is a vile human being, so the only thing that upsets me about this news is that it will be harder to drive a wedge between Trump and the Establishment without Bannon there with the crowbar. This, unfortunately, is likely to bring McConnell/Ryan closer to Trump.

But it’s yet another reminder that everyone who associates themselves with Donald Trump eventually gets burned. No one, to my knowledge, has come out of the other side of a relationship with Trump as a better person, a more popular person, a more employable person. Preibus. Spicer. Scaramucci. Roger Ailes. Bill O’Reilly. Everyone in the cabinet. Manafort. Hell, even Trump’s own family members. And maybe that’s why there are still a few hangers-on from the beginning: They know it’s all downhill from here, and they’re just clinging to whatever power they have remaining, because they know the next phase of their careers probably involves Dancing with the Stars (if they’re lucky) or a show featuring Dr. Drew, if they’re not as lucky.

You can get in bed with a reality-show President, and you end up with a post-reality show career.

Goodbye Stephen Bannon, and good riddance. I hope you choke on your Seinfeld residuals, but also, I hope that you throw flamethrowers at the White House on your way out of public relevance. Burn it all down, Stephen. Burn it all down.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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