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Sometimes, If You Want the Truth, You've Gotta Go to Fox News

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 16, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 16, 2018 |


“I call it the rigged witch hunt; it is a sham,” Trump told The Wall Street Journal when explaining why he pulled security clearances for former CIA head John Brennan. “And these people led it! So I think it’s something that had to be done.”

In other words, Trump pulled Brennan’s security clearances because Brennan was involved in the Russian investigation, which is basically like saying to Bob Mueller: “Obstruction shmustruction! I will jeopardize the jobs of anyone within my Administration or the intelligence community who threatens me with facts!”

Of course, as Rudy Giuliani said yesterday, “Facts are in the eye of the beholder,” and that “President Trump is “the most honest president” in history, which is true only if the “eye” of the “beholder” was dipped in battery acid and fed to a feral dog.

Sometimes, if you want the truth — and not just the truth cut with a heavy dose of both siderism, or actual facts commingled with the “facts” of the opposing side — you gotta go to Fox News, and by that, I mean: Shep Smith:

Facts, however, are not what Trump wants. He wants to be told only things that jibe with his own worldview or massage his fragile ego. It’s gotten so bad that his own secret service agents have to encourage people to say nice things to the President on the way in, according to MSNBC pundit Donny Deutsch.

“An interesting anecdote that somebody told me when they were at his country club in Bedminster that Trump was about to walk into the room and some of the Secret Service guys came up to the people he was going to see and said, ‘hey when you see the president, say positive things, you know, pump him up,” Deutsch continued.

“They were basically fluffers in the room, in effect. I just said that word. Didn’t I? Metaphorically, of course,” he added, in a reference to the role of “fluffer” on adult film sets, which involves ensuring male stars maintain an erection prior to filming.

“Donald Trump is at the point he’s so fragile and cannot ever, ever be in any interaction, in any exchange in any room that’s just not pure lionization, canonization, and it defies any left-brain logic,” he added.

— In other news, while the N-word tape from The Apprentice has not surfaced yet (and yes, it sort of does matter), there is interview footage from The Howard Stern show where Donald Trump actually considered pitting blacks vs. whites one season. I believe it would have been called, The Apprentice: RACE WAAAAAAAAR.

Speaking of race wars, this is too good not to share. Here’s Jason Kessler, the organizer of the Unite the Right rally, being yelled at by his father, because Kessler literally lives in his parent’s basement, and his parents — who watch “anti-German propaganda” on The History Channel (i.e., World War II documentaries) — do not agree with his views.

There’s your fucking leader, Nazis. A guy who can’t even have a Facetime conversation without getting yelled at by his father. KICK HIS ASS OUT, DAD.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

Header Image Source: Fox News