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Quit. Resign. Drop the F--k Out. Go Away, Al Franken. You're Killing Us

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 6, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 6, 2017 |

Corey Lewandowski was on Morning Joe this morning, which was the first mistake Morning Joe made. They asked him about Roy Moore. He pivoted to Al Franken. The hypocrisy was stunning, but irrelevant. Al Franken’s sins still dominated the segment while a pedophile continues to run for Alabama Senate with the endorsement of the President and the money of the RNC.

Meanwhile, Kellyanne Conway was on CNN this morning, and did the same. It was whataboutism at its finest. She looked like an asshole, but she still managed to get under my skin. With less than a week until the Alabama election, journalists are being pressured into saying things like, “Yeah, but what Al Franken did wasn’t nearly as bad.” True, perhaps. But it’s not a good look.

Does it matter that what Roy Moore is accused of is much worse? No, no it doesn’t. Not to them, anyway. Does it matter that Al Franken has admitted his mistakes? Yes, yes it does: In the game of whataboutism, taking responsibility is the worst thing you can do. For the inverse, see this Onion headline:

Another woman came forward today and accused Al Franken of trying to “forcibly kiss her.” The former Democratic aide, who chose to remain anonymous, told Politico:

He was between me and the door and he was coming at me to kiss me. It was very quick and I think my brain had to work really hard to be like ‘Wait, what is happening?’ But I knew whatever was happening was not right and I ducked,” the aide said in an interview. “I was really startled by it and I just sort of booked it towards the door and he said, ‘It’s my right as an entertainer.’”

No, no it’s not, Al. This is what? Seven women? Eight women? You don’t get a free ride, Al, because what John Conyers did was worse. You don’t get off scott free because Roy Moore is a pedophile. You grabbed asses. You cupped breasts. You forcibly kissed women, and you even wrote a sketch to provide yourself with an opportunity to make out with another woman. SEVEN WOMEN.

You’re gross, Al. You’re a lech, Al. Your politics are great, and what you’ve done in the Senate is admirable, but you stink, Al. You’re a fucking creep, and I’m tired of hearing Republicans use you as a shield for Roy Moore. Get the fuck out. Go away. Retire. Quit. Resign. I don’t give a shit. A Democratic Governor will replace you with a Democrat. We’re not going to lose a vote. You. Are. Hurting. Your. Party. It’s time to vamoose. Be the bigger man, Al, because God knows you’re a lousy one with women.