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Math Is Not His Strong Suit, Folks

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | July 9, 2020 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | July 9, 2020 |


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Honest to God, one of the first items on Joe Biden’s agenda — should he win the Presidency, God willing — is to establish some sort of baseline test for intelligence in order to qualify for the Presidency. I’m not saying you have to be a well-educated genius (although, helpful!), or even that you are have to be able to spell hamberders or know the difference between counsel and council, or understand that “unpresidented act” is not a thing.

But, like, there still should be a baseline, you know? Like a basic grasp of science, reading, and at least an eight grade understanding of math. Can someone tell me what this means?

OK, the 1/100th thing aside (so he’s told us this a tiny fraction of times times?), umm, that’s not how it, uh, works. OK, so first of all: We have administered 40 million tests. A little more than 3 million came back positive. China has administered 90 million tests, and 83,000 came back positive (that number is obviously wrong, but also, it’s 7 million, which is what it would be according to Trump’s calculations). If you do testing correctly, which is to say, early and often — and combine with contact tracing and mask wearing — you actually get fewer cases over the long term. Trump seems to believe that the virus only exists because of tests, or, like, that testing creates the virus, when in fact, testing is designed to allow us to isolate cases and reduce the number of infections.

Anyway, this is all hurting my head. If feels like:

He’s right about one thing, though: If we tested more in hot spots in Texas, Arizona, and Florida, there’d be more positive tests because the tests cannot keep up with the demand for them there. On the other hand, you can administer 40,000,000 tests in Germany and you’d probably still end up with very few cases.

Anyway, I can’t try to explain math to Trump anymore. Here’s some tweets:


Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.


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