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It's the Inbreeding; It's the Only Way to Explain It

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | November 15, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | November 15, 2017 |

Look: I get it. I’d be angry, too, if coastal elites constantly stereotyped me as inbred (for the record, my parents were only related by marriage) (no, I’m not kidding) (Yes, my father had an affair with another relative, but they were only related by marriage, too!) (Oh God), but on the other hand, if Alabamans don’t want to be stereotyped as inbred, STOP PUTTING YOUR FUCKING INBREDS ON OUR TELEVISION SCREENS.

What I think Roy Moore’s attorney — this guy is a lawyer, he is one of the smart ones (Jesus Christ) — is trying to say is, Roy Moore groped, fondled, and solicited sex from underage girls because Ali Velshi looks to Moore’s attorney like he might come from a country where marriages are arranged.

Velshi is from Canada.

Arranged marriages have nothing to do with Roy Moore asking a mother for permission to date her daughter.

This lawyer looks like every bad guy in every civil rights movie set in the ’50s and ’60s.

Roy Moore is a pedophile. He’s never going to drop out. He’s going to get a lot of votes in Alabama. And you know what? It’s not because they don’t believe the allegations. It’s because they don’t care.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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