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'Highlights' from the State of the Union: AOC, Kamala, Gillibrand, and a Wasted Sean Spicer

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | February 6, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | February 6, 2019 |


I saw this morning a CBS poll that showed something like a 76 percent approval for Trump’s State of the Union speech last night. That didn’t sound right until I read, “Among SOTU viewers,” and then I realized that just means that Democrats didn’t actually watch the speech. Did you watch the speech? Because I didn’t watch the speech. It was an hour and a half long. Can you imagine willingly listening to Donald Trump speak off a teleprompter for an hour and a half? I can’t do that, and I watch Manifest every week. When I die and go to hell, it’s going to be Donald Trump State of the Union speeches on a loop, and to be honest, I’m trying to postpone that as long as possible.

So, yeah: Seventy-six percent of the country who stuck their hand in a fire approved of the way it charred their skin. Well done, Donald Trump!

Not that I didn’t follow the highlights on social media. By this point, I’ve consumed most of the State of the Union speech via media osmosis, and I can tell you that there was only one highlight from Trump’s prepared remarks. It was when he said, “You were not supposed to do that.”

I’d also like to give Tiffany Trump props for her outfit.

The applause the Congresswomen gave themselves didn’t sit well with everyone, however.

Liz Cheney’s father, by the way, eats actual babies for breakfast.

On the other hand, there were plenty of worthwhile reactions to Trump’s speech, best among them Nancy Pelosi’s contemptuous applause of Trump, which is soaking up all the media’s attention this morning, which I’m sure Trump is goddamn thrilled about.

There were other reaction highlights, too. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s stone-faced reaction to everything Trump said was priceless, although reading the hate-tweets from conservatives I had to wade through to get to this one was pretty fun, too. No one inspires more anger in Trump Republicans than a 29-year-old former bartender advocating for health insurance for all and a more equal distribution of wealth. Then again, conservatives hate “fairness.”

Peggy Noonan wasn’t a fan, and in turn, Twitter delightfully turned on Peggy Noonan.

Kamala gave good face, too.

Same with Gillibrand.

The best reaction from the gallery, however, came from Joshua Trump, the kid Trump invited because he was being bulled for having the same last name.

Same, Joshua. Same.

Special shout out to Sean Spicer, too, who enlivened the after-SOTU proceedings by appearing on camera completely shitfaced.

Sean clearly had a drink every time Trump sniffed during the State of the Union speech. Someone get that man a Lyft.

Header Image Source: YouTube