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Donald Trump Sort Of Admits He Just Makes Sh*t Up

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 5, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 5, 2016 |

It has been quiet on the Donald Trump front the last couple of days, as it seems the GOP has managed to temporarily wrangle a muzzle around his face while it attempts to stick gauze in his campaign’s bullet wounds.

He has, however, suggested that Hillary Clinton founded ISIS , and yesterday, in my liberal city of Portland, he was met with a gaggle of protesters, many of which silently crashed his rally holding up pocket Constitutions (go Portland!) While Portland is very white, it is also one of the country’s most liberal towns, so I have no idea what he thought he could accomplish in a hippy mecca in a state with only four electoral votes.

Trump has, however, continued to beat the drum on a video he claims he saw, a video that doesn’t actually exist, except in the mind of the Republican candidate for President. Trump has attempted, mostly unsuccessfully, to tie a $400 million payment we made to Iran to the release of four hostages, who Trump claims were released only after we paid a ransom to terrorists.

“I’ll never forget the scene this morning. Iran—I don’t think you’ve heard this anywhere but here—Iran provided all of that footage, the tape, of taking that money off that airplane. Over there, where that plane landed, top secret, they don’t have a lot of paparazzi, you know. The paparazzi doesn’t do so well over there.” But they have a perfect tape, obviously done by a government camera, and the tape is of the people taking the money off the plane. It’s a military tape. It’s a tape that was a perfect angle, nice and steady.”

At first, some believed that Trump had spoken about a tape that he had seen as part of his first classified briefings, which purportedly began this week. It turns out, however, that no such tape exists. What Trump actually saw was Fox News b-roll footage of men walking off a plane carrying luggage.

Donald Trump fabricated an entire story based on b-roll.

This is the “top secret” footage Trump saw that he “will never forget.”

The Iranians gave us b-roll to embarrass us? NOT THE B-ROLL! No wonder they are part of the Axis of Evil.

Trump nevertheless stuck to this story for a couple of days, insisting the United States paid for the release of hostages, when in fact we were repaying Iran (with interests) for weapons they purchased from us during the 1970s that we never delivered. In other words, we didn’t fulfill a contract, so we had to refund the money they gave us, a concept with which Trump — who regularly stiffs employees — is not familiar. All of this was made public back in January.

Even while Trump was discussing this “top secret” tape, however, members of his own campaign were telling the press that Trump had seen no such thing. It was “merely the b-roll footage included in every broadcast,” campaign spokesman Hope Hicks told the NYPost.

Finally, after being caught in a lie, this morning Trump finally did something he’s never done during this campaign. He admitted he was wrong. Sort of.

Trump basically admitted that he didn’t see the tape that “he’ll never forget,” but notice that he doesn’t say the tape doesn’t exist, because to Donald Trump, as long as it exists in his mind, it is real.

Dustin Rowles featured a photo of Elizabeth Debicki in lieu of Donald Trump’s repulsive face. You can follow him on Twitter.