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Donald Trump Calms Nation's Fears by Passing Buck, Sliming Reporter

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 13, 2020 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 13, 2020 |


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Today, during a press conference timed to goose the markets before the weekend’s closing bell (it worked!), Donald Trump took the podium in the Rose Garden, declared a national emergency, and commenced to shake hands with some of the nation’s richest CEOs, only days after interacting with at least two people who have tested positive for the Coronavirus.

The press conference was less about solving our public health crisis as it was about trying to boost the markets. One hundred million people could die, but Trump will declare victory if he can keep the Dow above 25,000. The national emergency designation will allow Trump to release $40 billion in aid to help with the Coronavirus. He also said he would suspend interest payments on federal student loans (why not just suspend the … whole payment?) and Trump promised that testing will (finally) ramp up with the help of … Target and Walmart.

And then he tried to downplay the threat again:

He also slimed a PBS reporter, Yamiche Alcindor, after she asked a good question (and he appeared to try and throw Fauci under the bus, too):

Near the end of the press conference, he added this, when asked about the testing failures:

Whatever else you want to say, that will likely be the takeaway from the press conference and Trump’s presidency.

Well, unless he infects the nation’s top CEOs with Coronavirus, in which case that will be the takeaway from his Presidency, although he will not take responsibility for that, either (Trump eventually conceded that he might get tested).



Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.




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