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Donald Delivers a Flaccid RNC Speech; Melania Shoots a Death Stare at Ivanka

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 28, 2020 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 28, 2020 |


The NYTimes did a nice job this morning of reporting on the substance of Donald Trump’s speech accepting his party’s nomination last night — a lot of lies and revisionism about the coronavirus; desperate efforts to make himself sound less racist; and attacks on Joe Biden that are not in any way consistent with the record and/or positions of Joe Biden.

What the Times did not get across, however, was how so very dull and low energy Trump’s speech was. It was a 70-minute teleprompter speech, and it was torture. The man stood up there and droned in a monotone and mangled the pronunciation of words he read off that teleprompter (a week after criticizing Biden for … reading off a teleprompter). You expect lies and obfuscations and red-meat rhetoric; what you don’t expect is Trump checking out of his own brain, and going on autopilot. It was brutal.

Far more interesting were the optics. There have been 180,000 deaths. There are still 40,000 new infections and 1,000 deaths a day, and Donald Trump assembles a sh*tton of people onto the White House lawn (which is unethical as hell for a campaign event) without any social-distancing or masks, pretending as though there is no pandemic.


There was no testing beforehand. I cannot imagine at least a few infections won’t come out of this.

I think that Wilbur Ross may have gotten infected and then died during the course of the speech.

I lot of people called Barron Trump tall, because he is.

But conservative Twitter, once again, melted down.

But honestly, the moment of the night came with Melania Trump inexplicably delivered a confounding death stare at Ivanka, and the reactions to it all night were spectacular. (Honestly, Brian tweeted out about 10 fantastic ones all by himself):

Anyway, that was weird, wasn’t it, Dan Scavino?

In the meantime, I am so relieved that the RNC is finally over, although to be honest, no one really talked about it that much this week, because Trump’s Law and Order America is on f**king fire, and all Republicans have done is give speeches warning us that if Joe Biden is elected, the country will look like … what it looks like right now.

Vote for Joe! (Have you requested those mail-in ballots yet? GET ON IT).

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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