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Give #ChristianAltFacts a Peek If You Want To Know Why America is a Dumpster Fire Right Now

By Mike Redmond | Politics | November 14, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Politics | November 14, 2018 |


I’m still relatively new to Pajiba. So for those of you who don’t know me from when I was a celebrity butthole merchant — with a heart of gold — over at The Superficial, I grew up in an extremely evangelical family. And while I’ve gratuitously weaved that information into jokes and/or seemingly hilarious-in-hindsight anecdotes about my own mother accusing me of literally being possessed by The Devil, that kind of shit really isn’t funny when you start poking at it. Being raised in a household where unchecked mental illness is recklessly mixed with a deadly serious belief in supernatural forces doesn’t exactly produce well-adjusted people. (See: Writing words like “celebrity butthole merchant” on the internet.) Not to mention this was during a time when there was already societal carte blanche on inflicting physical violence on children, and in the Christian world, you also had Biblical orders to beat them into nothing short of total obedience. So that was fun, and spoiler alert, it didn’t work. But not without lack of trying. We’ll leave it at that.

So with that information in mind, I’ve been absolutely riveted by Chrissy Stroop, who’s been doing yeoman’s work documenting the endless mental and familial carnage of having a similar evangelical upbringing. Recently, Stroop launched the still-going #ChristianAltFacts, which is full of the “teachings” that people experienced during their time in the church, and in a word, goddammit.

The whole hashtag is worth your click, but in the meantime, I’ve pulled some examples that I’ve seen in action. As you peruse them, you’ll start to notice a vast ocean of misogyny and a steady fear of demonic forces. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it until I’m dead in the ground, The Witch is one of the most poignant political movies of our time because large swaths of Christian Americans wholeheartedly believe that the events in that film are a real and dire threat in the year 2018.

Now, the reductive view is that these examples are nothing more than “Christian bashing.” I like to think of them as a pressing reminder that this country is never more than a small pendulum swing away from burning people at the stake again.

If you’re wondering why I just made you read all of that, it’s not because I hate your brain and want it to die. It’s because the people who actually believe that horrible shit with a zealous fervor vote in lockstep with the Republican Party and see absolutely nothing wrong with making this asshole our president. They’re why things are the way they are, so if you’ve got a solution, I’d f**king love to hear it even if it’s binge drinking.

Actually, especially if it’s binge drinking. Have I mentioned my childhood?

Mike is a Staff Contributor living in Pennsyltucky. You can follow him on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Getty