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And We're Firing Tear Gas at Children in the Name of Racism Now, This Must Be The 'Great Again' Part

By Mike Redmond | Politics | November 26, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Politics | November 26, 2018 |


Despite the fact that the withdrawal of troops has made it abundantly clear that the fear-mongering over the migrant caravan was nothing more than a blatant election stunt, racism is still the overarching theme of our present fungal-wanged timeline. Which is why our country has now engaged in the tear gassing of toddlers as Christ instructed in his famous sermon on… *checks notes*always welcoming children all the time. Well, sonofabitch.

The AP reports:

Honduran Ana Zuniga, 23, also said she saw migrants opening a small hole in concertina wire at a gap on the Mexican side of a levee, at which point U.S. agents fired tear gas at them.

Children screamed and coughed. Fumes were carried by the wind toward people who were hundreds of feet away.

“We ran, but when you run the gas asphyxiates you more,” Zuniga told the AP while cradling her 3-year-old daughter Valery in her arms.

Unsurprisingly, this turn of events played huge with online weiner-children who will die sexless and alone. But that’s not entirely accurate because we all have “normal” white relatives who are probably gleefully farting this exact meme, or depressingly similar ones, all over Facebook.

Obviously, the situation at San Ysidro went sideways. However, it was a powder keg that had been deliberately packed to explode the second Donald Trump remembered that nothing motivates the Republican base like balls-out white supremacy. That keg was then placed directly in front of an open flame when the Department of Homeland Security made a sketchy-as-hell move to block movement into San Ysidro last week. Toss in the Administration flat out lying about convincing Mexico to host the migrant caravan until the U.S. figures things out, and you’ve got yourself a shit show.

Of course, that’s me examining the facts like a common boy of soy instead of using my super-smart America skills like “Follower of Christ” and World’s Greatest Detective John here.

Great question, John. If only there was a simple and obvious explanation that would make you look like a total moron.

As if this f**k wasn’t clustered enough, The Daily Beast reports that for at least a month now, DHS has been working diligently to circumvent Secretary of Defense Mattis and obtain authorization for U.S. troops to gun down unarmed refugees. Fortunately, Chief of Staff John Kelly was the adult in the room. Except, just kidding, he went ahead and signed a memo authorizing lethal force, which made even the staunchly conservative Military Times go, “No, yeah, you can’t do that.”

But don’t worry, that situation isn’t spiraling insanely out of control or anything.

On that note, enjoy Cyber Monday and remember the true reason for the season: The time our Lord and Savior fell out of a literal refugee. Wait what.


Jesus, how many commies wrote this thing?

Header Image Source: Getty