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Al Franken Really, Really Hates Ted Cruz

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | May 24, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | May 24, 2017 |

I went to a local bookstore the other day with my kids because Chris Van Dusen was in town signing books, and the title character in his new book shares the same name with my daughter, and who could miss that opportunity? While we’re walking to the bookstore, however, Al Franken walked past us, which is strange because I live in Portland, Maine and he’s a Senator in Minnesota who spends most of the rest of his time in Washington, D.C.

Once I heard that he had a book coming out, however, I understood why he was probably in town: I’m guessing he was at the bookstore promoting the book. That book, Al Franken, Giant of the Senate, which comes out next Tuesday, devotes an entire chapter to Franken’s disdain for Senator Ted Cruz.

“I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz,” one of the lines in his book reads. “And I hate Ted Cruz.”

It’s not nice to devote an entire chapter to one’s hatred of a colleague, especially when that colleague is a U.S. Senator, but Franken explained to USA Today that he made an exception for the “singularly dishonest” and “exceptionally smarmy” Ted Cruz.

“I have to say, he’s an exception to my rule, which is you basically have a rule that if you have a conversation with somebody and it makes them look bad — it’s a private conversation — you don’t repeat it,” Franken said. “But I made an exception with him because he broke that rule, he broke the protocol of the Senate. It wasn’t quite that rule, but he got up to speak and called Mitch McConnell a liar. And that was completely against protocol. So I make him an exception. So I don’t say bad stuff about my other colleagues.”

Here’s a snippet from that chapter, and it is goddamn gold.

Brilliant. Goddamn brilliant.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.