To the surprise of no one who’s watched far too many people line up to kiss Johnny Depp’s abusive ass, according to a UK court ruling, he reportedly received a standing ovation after his new film opened at Cannes. While Variety claims the ovation lasted for seven minutes, Kayleigh noted that Kyle Buchanan says it was more like three minutes, and I’m going to go with Tori on this one: “Still too long.” (Variety)

On that note: It’s not Brie Larson’s job to clean up Cannes’ mess. (The Mary Sue)

Timothée Chalamet revealed his secret style weapon. (Lainey Gossip)

Chris Pratt’s Mother’s Day message didn’t go over well. (Dlisted)

Kate Bosworth and Justin Long are already married. (Celebitchy)

“If this technology goes wrong, it can go quite wrong,” are not exactly words I want to hear from someone pushing AI down our throats. (Daily Beast)

Lauren Boebert has confirmed that she’s filed for divorce from her husband, so it would really suck if there’s a video of her telling women in struggling marriages to just chase Jesus and then their husbands will chase them. Gosh, that would be awkward…

Lauren Boebert to women whose marriages are ending: “If you start chasing Jesus with everything that you have, I promise you, your husband will chase you chasing Jesus.” pic.twitter.com/2bYRQTOfOT

— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) June 27, 2022

Speaking of guys who’ve had gross interactions with minors, more of Chris D’Elia’s alleged victims have come forward. (Rolling Stone)

Loki Season 2 finally has a release date, and Disney+ is about to try something very different with Echo. (TVLine)

Megan Fox would like everyone to stop obsessing about her thumbs. (Page Six)

While reading Nature’s Mutiny, blauracke was frustrated that it took Philipp Blom a long time to make his case that the Little Ice Age of the 1600s had major social impacts. “The epilogue is therefore very much worth reading, because the puzzle pieces align and reveal the whole picture.” Which books have taken too long to get to the point? (Cannonball Read 15)