Good evening! Mike is taking a much-deserved night off, so I am your link monkey tonight. Let’s get to it:

Melania is living in Mar-a-Lago and disassociating both from reality and her husband these days. (Jezebel)

Amy Robach and TJ Holmes’ attempts to return to television have turned “desperate,” as the networks are staying far, far away (if CNN had any guts, they’d replace Don Lemon with them. Surefire ratings!) (Lainey)

Are we supposed to be rooting for anyone in this Gwyneth Paltrow trial? Because my sympathy lies nowhere, except with Gwyneth’s courtroom fashion. (Celebitchy)

Jamie Foxx apparently lured Cameron Diaz out of retirement to make a film with him, and he has since had a “meltdown,” there was an attempted theft on the set, and Cameron Diaz has reportedly vowed to give up acting permanently after this disaster. (Yahoo)

I’m glad I get to do PL tonight because it gives me the opportunity to say GOOD GOD, MELANIE LYNSKEY. (GFY)

Look: jameela jamils’ booty call story about the guy who passed out because of his Viagra is not great, but Al Roker’s expression is priceless. (Dlisted)

The “If Books Could Kill” podcast is taking down Hillbilly Elegy this week, and y’all know how much I HATE Hillbilly Elegy, so it’s a satisfying listen. (If Books Could Kill)

In film news, Steven Knight will pen a Vertigo remake for Robert Downey, Jr, and Knight is also set to replace Damon Lindelof in penning the next Star Wars (my guess is that Lindelof was too Rian Johnson for Kathleen Kennedy). (Empire)

Babylon tops Rob Hunter’s always fantastic Home Video Pick of the Week. (FSR)

On the off-chance you missed the whole hilarious mishegoss over Sofia Coppola’s daughter, it’s worth a click. (The Mary Sue)

From James: The cops who invaded Afroman’s home and wrecked his property on a BS warrant are suing him for invasion of privacy. (WCPO)

From Nicole: A new trade proposal in the racial draft. (TikTok)

Y’all apparently like cute pet stuff, so here’s some TikTok trash from Petr. (TikTok)