Seth Meyers Won't Replace Lorne Michaels at 'SNL' Because He Can't Hang

I accidentally had too much salt and not enough water yesterday and woke up today with a headache that has yet to go away. My back went out a few weeks ago because I sat … incorrectly(?) on my couch while reading comic books to my kids for like an hour. Despite being properly hydrated and eating plenty of food in advance, I had one drink with someone who works at this site a few weeks ago and, again, woke up with a headache. I’m only 36 years old! I’m in the best shape I’ve been in in my life. But I cannot escape the ravages of age.

So, when Seth Meyers sat down with Howard Stern and explained why he wouldn’t be taking over for Lorne Michaels as the head of SNL, all of his reasons made sense to me, but one hit harder than the others. Now, to be clear, Meyers didn’t say definitively that he wouldn’t take over the show. He kind of skates around it, offering reasons why he wouldn’t, without saying he won’t. Also, we don’t know for sure that Michaels plans to leave the show he created. For now, it’s all rumors.

That didn’t keep Stern from pressing Meyers about being a potential replacement as head of the storied show, saying that the current late-night host would be a perfect replacement. But Seth floated the idea that he had already hit the jackpot when he was on the show. “I feel like I walked away from the blackjack table at the right time,” Seth explained. He goes on to say he’s proud of his SNL accomplishments and getting to lead “the best writing staff the show has ever had.” That makes sense, though I’m sure everyone has their opinions about how good his staff was.

It was his next reasoning that resonated with me the most, however. Meyers seemed most stunned that Lorne, who is 80 years old, is still riding the SNL afterparties into the wee hours of the morning. “The fact that Lorne Michaels, at his age, is still staying at the afterparty till 4:30 in the morning and, like, holding court, ya know,” Meyers noted to an equally stunned Stern. You can hear their amazement at Lorne’s ability to not only hang but also interact and be approached. That’s hard for people in their 40s, much less someone who is twice that age. But Lorne pulls it off.

Meyers went on to note that whoever replaces Lorne will have a rough go of it. “The knives will be out for whoever it is, Howard,” he noted. “The knives are going to be out.” That will likely be true. Lorne’s replacement will have a tough act to follow, and that includes going to long-running afterparties even if you just want to have a good night’s sleep, but that keeps escaping you because you wake up with restless legs at four in the morning and then can’t get back to sleep afterward. I assume.