Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Andrew Sanford | News | July 1, 2026
It takes a lot for me not to have a good time at the movies. I’ve seen plenty of bad flicks, dealt with annoyingly loud talkers or cellphone users, and one time, a dude in a long black trenchcoat just waltzed into the showing of VVitch I was attending, stared at everyone for a few minutes, and then just… left. Still had a fantastic time, but I am, of course, not immune to a bad outing.
Still, if my kids are with me, the experience is often even better. And those have been some of my favorite movie-going outings. Seeing their faces light up at such a giant screen is incredible. They’re also good at just… sitting there for a while. The only film that has been really broken up by us having to step out a couple of times was Elio. They’ve been locked in for everything else. Even when I wish they weren’t.
My kids have only been to a theater twice this year. Most recently, we saw Toy Story 5 and had an incredible time. Those movies are absolutely magical, and the kids were dialed in (though I honestly may have had an even better time than they did). Before that… we saw The Super Mario Galaxy Movie… Y’all, we were in a lovely old theater in Oklahoma. I was on vacation, and I may or may not have had a THC vape with me (the grandparents were driving). I was ready to have a good time! I swear!
Things even started pretty well! One of my kids started singing along to the Universal Fanfare (presumably because they’ve seen The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which is pretty fun, several times). But what followed is one of the worst kids’ movies I have ever had to watch, and it is definitely one of the worst movies to come out this year. Both films are packed with references, but the first at least had a very straightforward story to hang its red hat on. This one had nothing.
The story was absolute nonsense. Bowser’s son is attacking the galaxy, and he kidnaps Rosalina because he wants to use her to free his dad. But his dad is good now and wants to help the Mario Bros. find Rosalina because a star comes to warn them, but Peach knows the star I think? Then, it turns out Peach is Rosalina’s sister, which could have been a more interesting movie, but it takes a backseat to a bunch of cameos, Bowser inexplicably making a heel turn in the eleventh hour, and a bunch of other nonsense. It was the emptiest of calories.
Well, if all that sounded appetizing, I have good news for you! The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is heading to Peacock on July 30th according to Deadline. However, given what I just wrote, that may seem like a threat. I’m genuinely concerned that my children are going to want to watch it as much as they watch the original, and I’m going to do my best to move them away from it. But watching the bad sequel to an okay movie over and over again is a kid’s right, nay, duty! Do I stand in the way of that?!
It also bums me out that Peacock is getting saddled with this, as silly as that may sound. I like Peacock! It takes advantage of Universal’s library, and doesn’t shy away from hosting weird, even flawed shows and movies. The company makes great use of what it has. Which makes it unacceptable that the Robocop TV show is on the service in a mix of 4:3 and zoomed-in HD. Why, Peacock?!? Why?!?!
