Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Andrew Sanford | News | October 23, 2025
Netflix is terrible about getting its films in theaters, and Ted Sarandos’ comments about movie theaters being for coastal elites were dumb as hell. They should continue to get a lot of flak for not giving their movies proper theatrical runs. Daniel Craig should keep yelling at Sarandos whenever he gets the chance. But, for a brief moment, I will give credit where it is due.
I love Stranger Things and have enjoyed every season. I understand people’s complaints about it feeling derivative or relying too heavily on nostalgia. Criticisms about the final season’s potential running times and budgets for each episode are valid. I just do not care. I’m completely on the hook for this final season, which has now presented me with another reason to be excited.
The series finale of Stranger Things will be airing in theaters. Pretty sweet, right?! If you’re going to inflate budgets and runtimes, give it a proper screening! I would have preferred one of the episodes that was directed by horror legend Frank Darabont, but I’ll take this. The Duffers have lamented the fact that people haven’t gotten to experience the sound and picture at their truest quality, and now we can.
“We’re beyond excited that fans will have the chance to experience the final episode of Stranger Things in theaters — it’s something we’ve dreamed about for years, and we’re so grateful to Ted, Bela and everyone at Netflix for making it happen,” read a statement from The Duffer Brothers. “Getting to see it on the big screen, with incredible sound, picture, and a room full of fans, feels like the perfect — dare we say bitchin’ — way to celebrate the end of this adventure.”
Hell yeah! I’m with you, Duffer Brothers. Give me that theatrical experience. Now, let me just take a big sip of coffee before I read how long the finale will be in theaters. 2025 to 2026! That’s good, right? Wait… December 31st, 2025, to January 1st, 2026?! It’s only going to be in theaters for 24 hours?! Ahhh, eat s***, Netflix, Jesus tap dancing Christ.
Who does that help, Ted?! I get putting it in 350 theaters because you’ve convinced yourself that only people in big cities go to theaters, but treating it like a pop-up shop?? I got kids, Ted! I need more time! Netflix should end up buying Warner Bros. because I swear to Zod Sarandos and David Zaslav share a friggin brain (and probably several yacht parking spots or whatever they’re called).
This feels f***ing pointless. If you are going to stagger the releases in such a way that the finale airs on its own, why not capitalize fully on the potential hype? I get the Christmas week release of the previous episodes, giving people time to catch up, but why wouldn’t you then give them more time to see it in a theater? Why do you hate money, Ted?! Answer me!
I was really excited about this at first and was even bugging other Pajiba folk to go with me. Now, I may end up avoiding it out of spite. Everyone should continue to rag on Netflix’s handling of theatrical releases. Maybe one day they’ll learn that people will go to the theater if you give them a chance. Until then, they’ll keep leaving money on the table. Their loss.
