Mel Gibson Is Pitting Jesus Against Zelda in a Big Screen Battle

Flight Risk, released earlier this year, had one of the funniest marketing campaigns I’ve ever seen. Not because the movie looked dumb, with Mark Wahlberg sporting a stupid-looking bald cap. Also, the premise didn’t seem that bad (I heard it was all bad). What was amusing was how hard the producers tried to capitalize on Mel Gibson’s legacy, without mentioning his name. They wanted the clout of Braveheart and Apocalypto, but not the man who made them, whose history of horrific remarks has made him a Hollywood pariah.

Gibson has been caught saying racist and bigoted slurs so many times you’d think he was trying to become a right-wing comic on TikTok. The dude sucks, and, despite once making over $600 million on a $30 million budget just by torturing a religious figurehead, he still hasn’t been able to fully regain his standing in Tinsel Town. He’s made some movies here and there. The man is no longer relegated to straight-to-Blu-ray releases, but he’s not headlining any blockbusters. Instead, he’s getting back behind the camera to bring you twice the Jesus.

Deadline is reporting that the man who once planned to make a mini-series about the Holocaust on ABC as a way of apologizing for anti-Semitic remarks is making a sequel to his hit film, The Passion of the Christ. The Resurrection of the Christ is being put out by Lionsgate and will be split into two parts. Part one will release on March 26, 2027, which is my kids’ birthday, so I know what they’ll be doing (it’s also Good Friday or something)! Part two will be released on Ascension Day, which I didn’t even know was a thing because I’m a bad/lapsed Catholic, and falls on May 6th, 2027. Yes, the films will release slightly over a month apart.

This gamble could pay off. The original film made stupid money, preying on Catholic guilt. Lining up release dates with different holidays will surely stoke those fires even more. There’s still a risk the films could eat into each other’s profits. What if people don’t like the first one? Gibson has mentioned that the new movies will be psychedelic. Will that play with the crowd? Will they see one and skip the other? Also, does Jesus have the power to stand up against Ganondorf and his villainous plans for the kingdom of Hyrule?

That’s the second gamble for Jesus’ franchise comeback. Part two will be released against Sony’s long-awaited Legend of Zelda movie. The Wes Ball-directed film originally had the March 26th slot but has since moved to May. It has found its two leads. The movie is finally happening, and I think it’s going to do insane amounts of money. The Super Mario Bros. Movie received OK reviews at best and still managed to rake in over a billion dollars. Link and Zelda getting a live-action treatment could do similar numbers, as long as it is at least OK, and won’t be hampered by appealing almost exclusively to one group of people.

Even though it may break my mother’s heart, I can confidently say that Link and Zelda will be more popular than Jesus. There’s more crossover appeal. People of all races and religions know the thrill of Link battling Ganon for the soul of Hyrule. They may lapse in their playing time, but the belief never leaves them. In a box office showdown, I think Zelda will clean Jesus’s clock. Sorry, Mel. I’m sure you’ll think of a minority to blame.