Lauren Sanchez Had To Coddle Katy Perry at Her Own Wedding

This weekend is supposed to be all about Lauren Sanchez as she marries billionaire Jeff Bezos for one of the all-time bag grab for the ages. (If you haven’t read Lainey Gossip’s scathing coverage, remedy that quickly.) In a nauseating display of wealth, Bezos has basically rented out Venice, prompting some very clever activists to block the canals in protest. You might even go so far to say that even God was mad, judging by the thunderstorm dumped on Oprah Winfrey and Kim Kardashian’s heads last night.

However, one celebrity guest has been notably missing, but still casting a shadow over the garish event: Lauren Sanchez’s space buddy Katy Perry. She was already bailing on the nuptials to perform in Australia, but thanks to breaking up with Orlando Bloom this week, Katy created a news suck that not even Lauren could escape. It didn’t help that Bloom awkwardly came to the wedding, which only drew more attention to their breakup.

Case in point: Katy Perry did the routine “living my best life now” post while hanging out in Australia, and despite being in the middle of her lavish wedding, Lauren Sanchez jumped in the comments to say, “We miss you Katy.”

I don’t know where I’m going with this, but imagine having to console your friend through a breakup on your wedding day that she didn’t even attend. On top of that, her ex is ten feet away, cramming shrimp in his mouth and wondering how many people he’s allowed to hit on before Page Six catches wind. We don’t get very many wins against the rich, so let’s take this one. Savor it, everybody.

In the meantime, Katy’s post has quokkas in it, and I know you folks go bananas for critters. See? This post wasn’t entirely pointless. Just mostly!

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A post shared by KATY PERRY (@katyperry)