Jon Stewart Takes Shots at ‘Shameful’ Paramount and Arby’s

Fast food deli meat should not be something that appeals to anyone. Think about all the things fast food joints do to make their food appear “fresh.” The freezing, corner cutting, and the sprays that make food look a certain way. Now imagine that with meat that sweats. Picture slices of ham that appear gelatinous, waiting to eat you before you can eat them. I’ve eaten my fair share of fast food, but Arby’s is a step I have never been willing to make, a decision made purely out of the limited self-respect I have for myself. Even on my darkest days, I haven’t wanted to subject my body to a hunk of roast beef that’s been soaking in its own slime for six weeks.

Doesn’t that feel nice? Just taking shots at a fast food franchise that I have no real connection to, lobbing insults from afar as I sit comfortably at my computer. It would be a shame if Arby’s were to decide that I have slandered them. Things would get even worse if I were in the middle of merging most of my assets with another father of twins, a transaction that potentially needed Arby’s approval. I could fight the suit, because nothing I’ve done is illegal, or I could roll over and give in, allowing Arby’s reign of terror to continue. Yes, this analogy is more sweaty than a big beef and cheddar, but it will (kind of) pay off.

Jon Stewart kicked off the latest episode of The Daily Show by criticizing Paramount Global (his bosses) for a multi-million dollar settlement with President Trump, who was suing them for nothing. He was asking for $20 billion for not kissing his ass directly enough and they caved, giving him $16 million, avoiding his ire (for now) and potentially securing approval for the company’s merger with Skydance. It was nakedly corrupt, and Stewart was saying as much before he was cut off by his old foe. “Please stand by. Brought to you by Arby’s for when you want a sandwich commensurate with your company’s shame,” the graphic read. It would cut back to him just in time to say, “That’s why it’s so wrong.”

Stewart did not stop criticizing Paramount’s spinelessness there. He would later bring on former 60 Minutes correspondent Steve Croft to echo his sentiment. Stewart mentioned how “devastating” this must be to people still working for the company, trying to do the right thing, and Kroft concurred. “Devastating is a good word,” Kroft replied. “I think there’s a lot of fear over there. Fear of losing their job, fear of what’s happening to the country, fear of losing the First Amendment, all of those things.” He would later go on to call the whole ordeal a “shakedown.”

“Was this settlement just a payment so that this [Paramount-Skydance] merger can go through and not be challenged by Trump’s FCC?” Stewart would later ask Kroft, who simply answered, “Yes.” When it’s me and Arby’s battling over whether or not I can assume their food is made out of whatever back alley rodents they can catch with a set of bright red tongs, it’s funny. When it’s the president of the United States shaking down media companies because he doesn’t like how they portrayed his opponent in an interview, the humor lessens.