Click Here and Spend Your Christmas With Chris Pine

It’s Christmas Eve! We woke up to fresh snow, so I shoveled the sidewalk for everybody on my side of the block (in a Santa snapback, so looking extra fresh). My kids are through the roof excited. Not for Santa, but because we purchased Hungry Hungry Hippos as a Christmas Eve activity. I’m filled with the friggin’ spirit of the season, man, and I’m just gonna lean into it. The goal of today is to make memories, eat a little more than usual, hug my kids and wife, and create a few traditions along the way.

I have a few Christmas traditions. I always watch the PeeWee’s Playhouse Christmas Special (on YouTube for free btdubs). I’ve taken to watching a few Christmas Specials on YouTube. The Carpenters have a special from 1978 that is fantastic. There are movies I watch every year, like Home Alone and Deck the Halls (the former because it’s great, the latter because it’s awful). I like to stay up late playing video games while listening to Christmas episodes of my favorite podcasts.

Yes, a lot of my traditions are media-related. And they don’t stop there. I love love love Christmas music! I’ll usually download Michael Buble’s Christmas album a few days before Thanksgiving and ride it out until the end of the year. There are classics from my childhood that I love to listen to. There’s lots of Bing Crosby in the rotation. Christmas wouldn’t be complete without Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis”. But I’ve also added “new” songs over the years (new to me, at least). “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson rose in the ranks recently, as did Gayla Peevey’s “I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas”. This year, a new favorite has emerged.

I love parody songs. I’m taking my kids to see Weird Al this summer; hopefully turning concert-going into another tradition. One of my sons has been going through a phase of replacing the words in most songs with “banana,” so my love is catching on. My kids also love Spider-Man as much as I do, so anything Spidey-related is a plus in their eyes. This year, while looking for new Christmas music, I discovered that the folks behind Into the Spiderverse released a Christmas album thanks to one joke in the film. It is… glorious.

There is lots of Jake Johnson being hilarious. Jorma Taccone does a great turn as a Spider-Man from the ’60s. Shameik Moore drops a fun track as Miles Morales, even if he’s up to some… “weirdo” stuff right now. But, the hero of the album is Chris Pine. Pine sings a song called “Spidey-Bells (A Hero’s Lament)”. You can guess from the name which classic song it is parodying. It has the similar jokes you would expect from a superhero Christmas song. However, the way the song devolves makes it a classic.

Pine’s Spiderman laments (get it?) the fact that he’s recording a novelty Christmas song, at one point breathily exclaiming, “Is this what I’ve become?!” Then, the spirit of the season helps him bring it all home. It’s wonderful and my kids love it more than I do (and I love it). Listening to it, laughing, and singing along are sure to become traditions for my family for years to come.

You can enjoy the song below (and you should). Spend your holiday with Chris Pine. You’ve earned it after this year. Merry Christmas!