When I started this post, it was going to be about good foreign films you can watch on Netflix Instant. “Like Father, Like Son—that’s good,” I thought as I browsed through Big Red’s international selection. “House of Flying Daggers, Una Noche, Zero Motivation… wait, what?”
“Controversial, yet with a fascinating message. Men love women, but is it sometimes OK to love girls?”
Headhunters, I’m sorry, I love you, but you’re going on the shelf right now. Netflix’s one-star selection beckons.
A Matador’s Mistresss
“This searing biopic follows Manuel Rodríguez Sánchez, who owned the Spanish bullring in the 1940s and had a notorious affair with actress Lupe Sino.”
Adrien Brody provides a worthy challenger to John Cusack, heir presumptive to Nicolas Cage’s bad decision-making crown.
Lady Ninja Kaede 2
“Erotica and martial arts are a powerful pair of skills used by Kaede, a ninja nun put under a sex spell by the religious cult she tries to infiltrate.”
I knew this is the sort of thing that happens at nunneries!
The Devil’s Violinist
“One of the greats of the 19th century plays like a man possessed… and lives like a man unrestrained.”
Pretty sure half this movie’s budget comes from hush money paid by Jared Harris to try and keep people from knowing he’s in it. And then all that cash went towards paying for eyeliner:
“Millions worldwide drop everything to watch this tournament every year. And these are the three men who started it all.”
Yup. It’s the FIFA movie.
“American journalist Zoe has her perspective about Spanish men challenged when she travels to Spain and realizes they aren’t as macho as she thought.”
This looks classy.
I Hate Luv Storys
“There’s a thin line between love and hate. Sometimes you have to cross the line to find your soul mate.”
“An underdog failing at life learns that he’s the son of a millionaire who leaves his fortune to his dog, prompting madcap murder plots and mayhem.”
This should be a Air Bud/The Fast and the Furious crossover.
This joke has a hard time holding water.
In the Name of the King: Two Worlds
“One of the toughest dudes of our time has a very medieval problem. Nothing he can’t solve with some sharp steel.”
Still looks better than Dungeons & Dragons.
Torrente 3: El Protector
His belly has more rolls than a bakery. He defecates in cemeteries. And he’s the only thing between you and a bullet.”
How ‘bout it. Movie night, anyone?