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Yippie-Kay-Yay, Motherf*cker!

By Brian Prisco | Miscellaneous | January 25, 2011 |

By Brian Prisco | Miscellaneous | January 25, 2011 |

As film critics, we often tear down without creating. We usually complain about how certain genres like horror and fantasy have gotten weaker. We complain and complain, but we never offer up solutions. So I’ve decided to run a column this week to cull suggestions of what you as a moderately rational filmgoing base are craving in your genre films. What would you like to see done on the big screen?

People shat on The Expendables, but I think they were trying. Gone are the days of the man-meat mountains gunning down the anti-Reagan target du jour, and sadly. Now, we get pretty boys and WWE wranglers pulling off PG-13 rescues with bombs and guys toppling like Call of Duty with the parental guards up.

When did we suck the blood from the action? Granted, it’s a business, and keeping it under the R means a couple more million in profit, but do they have to yank the teeth out of all our action?

For that matter, does it have to be military? If I wanted to watch guys in SWAT gear getting hosed down or Eastern European dudes getting iced, there are any number of much better videogames to be had. It kind of hearkens back to the whole fantasy and western, but what else can we fight? What else can we blow up? What other bad guys can we take down?

Do they stakes need to be maxed out for your enjoyment? Does your action have to involve massive car chases and bombing runs, or can we get away with a simpler arrangement? Does the world have to be saved or can it just be one girl? Does the villain have to be stopped to prevent the city from exploding or can it just be about revenge?

What’s up? Get to the chopper!

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