Previously on “Why We Hate”: we explored the celebrities we love to hate. I, for example, wished a pox upon the house of my most known mortal nemesis, Lea Michele.
But, there is another.
But, here’s the thing: I cannot decide if it’s Lucy or Paz that is most deserving of my loathing.
Here’s an example of “Boardwalk Empire“‘s own personal Jar Jar in action. (video is of recorded-under-the-bathwater quality and is NSFW)
She’s abysmal. But I have no idea if she’s being written and directed that way, or if it’s a really idiotic character choice on the part of the actor, and no one ever felt like stopping her because of all her boobs. Lucy is definitely supposed to be annoying, but I don’t know if she was always necessarily supposed to be *that* annoying. Because she’s really fucking annoying.
But it’s more than the whiny-pouty-posy Lucy Danzinger. Real-life Paz is fucking nuts. Prone to public lotioning, drunken fuckery, saying ridiculous shit (see the bottom of this post) and being really, really shiny, Paz is a Spirograph of WTF. Read an interview. She tries so goddamn hard to seem interesting, you guys. SO HARD. And she thinks I (yes, me personally) hate her because of her frequent nudeness. Hell, her nudeness is her only reason for being, her one decent quality. Be naked all you want, Pazzy. Just stop talking. Forever. And invest in blot cloths.
For those who want a starter course, this interview is like How to Act Like a Crazy Actor In a Desperate Effort for Attention 101. Here are a few of my personal favorite Paz-isms:
“This construction worker I’ve been fucking has really been keeping me up late.”
“It was like the time I went to Graceland. Elvis’s ghost gave me an orgasm in his recording studio.”
“I don’t even have a computer. I just write in a little book.”
“I don’t watch TV.”
“I love the fact that the present is the only real reality we have, so I don’t have to plan.”
“I can’t share much about the show, but hopefully some of these women who resent me for being naked or in little to nothing will be pleased that I’m knocked up, and they’ll pay attention to the performance. Women have said the most malicious, disgusting things about me. But I know that when somebody comments about you, good or bad, it is 99 percent of the time their projection of how they feel about themselves. Even my own sister treats me worse than somebody would treat a rat. She actually likes rats, so worse than that.”
“[Jack Nicholson]said to me, ‘They don’t make them like you anymore. I haven’t seen a beautiful girl like you since 1965.’”
“Look what just happened to Amy Winehouse! Maybe had she not seen so many bad pictures of herself she would have gotten more self esteem and not been so self-destructive.”
She is the worst/best. So, I open it up. Just like Lucy did with Van Alden. Which characters/actors fill you with chicken/egg confusion—do I hate the performer, or is the character itself actually supposed to make me throw M&Ms at my television?