Have you seen this Ohio Dachshund that weighed 56 pounds two years ago and was basically unrecognizable as a Dachshund? Dachshunds should not weigh that much, y’all. If you have a Dachshund, and it looks like that, you should not have a Dachshund anymore. The poor dog above got that way because its owner fed him White Castle burgers, pizza and other human foods.
Humans shouldn’t even be eating White Castle burgers.
Anyway, Brooke Burton ended up adopting the Dachshund from an IRRESPONSIBLE relative, and got to work getting the poor dog back in shape. Two years later, the dog looked like this:
The Dachshund went from an obese 56 pounds to a svelte 12 pounds! That’s amazing, and by following the regimen of diet and exercise the Dachshund followed, you too could lose 75 percent of your body weight. How? Follow these simple steps:
1. Do not eat White Castle burgers or pizza.
2. Eat dry dog food three times a day.
3. Do not sit on your ass all day. Have someone take you on a walk at least twice a day. If you are well trained, you may not even need a leash.
4. Elicit affection from loved ones. Whenever you pass up that plate of nachos for a bowl of dry dog food, quietly curl up in a loved one’s lap and use your nose to bug your him or her until he or she pats you on the head. If she pushes you off, you’re still too fat! Use those feelings of rejection to inspire you to eat more dry dog food!
5. Eliminate outdoors. This doesn’t really help with the dieting, but it is good manners.
And if you follow these simple steps, within 2 years, you too can lose 75 percent of your body weight and save thousands of dollars in grocery costs!