I will not throw up. I will not throw up. Say it with me, people: I will not throw up.
Anyone who has ever watched the first episode of Charlie Brooker’s first Black Mirror episode, starring Rory Kinnear as Prime Minister Michael Callow will never forget it (not even if you try). “The National Anthem” was so sickening, it nearly put me — and many others — off the series for good, but if you were able to get past that opener, you know the series is well worth watching.
***Spoiler Warning for both the series and real life ahead. Read at your own risk, and keep a bucket nearby.***
In “The National Anthem,” Kinnear’s Callow must…um,
sorry guys, this is difficult to even talk about. Well, he uh…
CALLOW HAS TO FUCK A PIG (in order to aide in the rescue of a kidnapped royal — but, still!).
It’s as bad as you can imagine, and watching the episode, one can’t help but wonder what in the world inspired such a thing in Charlie Brooker’s brain?
Well, guys, this is almost worse than we thought. What I mean is, the whole thing may not have been just a nightmarish thought that popped into a writer’s head. In fact, certain allegations have been made public that would seem to indicate the episode is partly based in truth.
According to an unofficial biography by ex-Conservative Party treasurer, Lord Michael Ashcroft, Prime Minister David Cameron “once put a private part of his anatomy” into the mouth of a dead pig.
Sorry, sorry! I’m trying to be a professional, here — but jesuseffingholycrapstack!
Ashcroft claims that as part of an initiation ceremony to an Oxford dining club (the Piers Gaveston Society), Cameron performed the act, and also alleges an evidentiary photo exists.
From Ashcroft’s piece:
“But Cameron went a great deal further. He also got involved in the notorious Oxford dining society, the Piers Gaveston, named after the lover of Edward II, which specialises in bizarre rituals and sexual excess.
A distinguished Oxford contemporary claims Cameron once took part in an outrageous initiation ceremony at a Piers Gaveston event, involving a dead pig. His extraordinary suggestion is that the future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth.
The source — himself an MP — first made the allegation out of the blue at a business dinner in June 2014. Lowering his voice, he claimed to have seen photographic evidence of this disgusting ritual.
My co-author Isabel Oakeshott and I initially assumed this was a joke. It was therefore a surprise when, some weeks later, the MP repeated the allegation. Some months later, he repeated it a third time, providing a little more detail. The pig’s head, he claimed, had been resting on the lap of a Piers Gaveston society member while Cameron performed the act. The MP also gave us the dimensions of the alleged photograph, and provided the name of the individual who he claims has it in his keeping.”
For his part, Charlie Brooker is having an awful lot of fun on Twitter, for someone who denies having any foreknowledge of the story:
Shit. Turns out Black Mirror is a documentary series.— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 20, 2015
Just been nosing through old Black Mirror files now, of course. pic.twitter.com/6Xhuhby0Gj— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 20, 2015
Just to clear it up: nope, I’d never heard anything about Cameron and a pig when coming up with that story. So this weirds me out.— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 20, 2015
And he hopes other episodes won’t similarly turn out to have been based in truth.
I hope White Bear doesn’t come true next.— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 20, 2015
Meanwhile, the BBC reports Cameron’s spokesperson has declined to comment, though she said the author has laid out his reasons for writing the biography — “raw revenge.”
And (H/T Genny), if you think Trump is embarrassing, at least we don’t have to deal with #piggate, or “Hameron.”
Cameron sure does seem to like pigs…just sayin’.