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The Best Part of Living Alone Right Now? Not Having to Hear Anyone Eat

By Kate Hudson | Miscellaneous | April 27, 2020 |

By Kate Hudson | Miscellaneous | April 27, 2020 |


I have misophonia—which means that listening to you eat an apple sends me into an (almost) uncontrollable rage, which ignites just below the surface. It’s so bad that sometimes I have to inflict physical pain on myself to distract me from the sound (usually biting the insides of my cheek or digging my fingernails into my palm) because when I tell you it sends me into a rage, I am not underselling that. The closer I am to you emotionally, the more affronted I am by the sound of you eating. This is not some weird quirk I have—it’s actually a medical thing! I discovered this years ago when I finally couldn’t stand it anymore because I had a co-worker who would loudly eat an apple every day and I was seriously considering quitting because he sat right next to me. So I googled “I want to murder someone for eating an apple” and voila! I got my answer—I have misophonia. My mom does too—scraping your teeth on a fork was a mortal sin in our house growing up, and thank Buffy for that rule because I hate that sound, too. I hate a lot of mouth sounds! They’re the worst!

Which brings me to my point today—it’s been a little hard living alone during this whole “only jags leave their house because we all have to stay home for the greater good” period right now. You go a little crazy, you maybe spend far too much time on Pajiba Slack since that’s your human interaction quota for the day, and sometimes you can feel yourself going a little Grey Gardens as a result. (I would absolutely leave out pâté for the racoons if I had them…)

When this happens to me, I just have to remind myself that there are people out there who are forced to be around loud eaters and they can’t escape because they live with them, and it makes me feel a little better. Every dark cloud has a silver lining!

So if this is you right now, you have my sympathy. I understand the blind rage certain sounds can do to you. Mouth sounds are the worst!!

Kate is a staff contributor. You can follow her on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Getty

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