I’ll try not to over-generalize here, but spending a few years as the only girl hanging in and around tents with ten to forty males, a girl picks up a few lines (and some disgusting stories). No, I wasn’t a hooker hanging outside of Easter Mountain Sports; rather, a lone female M.P. stationed in an outlying platoon. My point is, I have what some people affectionately call a “sailor-mouth.” Wow, this is going downhill fast. The real point is, I cuss like a soldier — if that’s a generalization, so be it. Get your ass out in the cold German woods playing war games for a month or so, with no showers and eating nothing but crappy MREs…a few choice words may escape your lips. Never mind the fact my service ended long ago; my vocabulary remains ever-plagued by bleepable expletives, and of all the things my husband would like me to stop, swearing remains number one. Now, since the kids showed up (hey, where did they come from?), I’ve have tried and tried to curb the obscenities, but I’m not going to lie…they find their way out once in a while. So you can imagine my reaction when I saw the following headline:
Shit! Oops, I mean, drats. That could be me! But seriously, is this for real? The story goes that Danielle Wolf was shopping at her local Kroger supermarket with her family, and either her husband or kids kept squishing the bread. In her frustration, Wolf allegedly cussed out her family, and when a fellow shopper indicated her displeasure, Wolf gave her an earful as well. Instead of just walking away and minding her own business, the
effing bitch other shopper called the police, and Wolf was subsequently arrested right in front of her entire family…which I’m sure was much less traumatic than hearing her foul words. Apparently, South Carolina has a law about the use of “bawdy” language being bandied about in public, so Wolf was charged with the misdemeanor. Listen, I’m all for protecting children, and I certainly don’t condone cursing around them. I’ve done my best to stop it entirely, but I also believe you’d be hard-pressed to find many parents who haven’t at one time or other let something slip. I can’t imagine being thrown in jail for such a thing, and I also can’t imagine my kids seeing me arrested. I hereby vow to redouble my efforts, but more importantly, I’m pretty sure I’ll keep my ass out of South Carolina.