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Pajiba's Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | August 3, 2012 |

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | August 3, 2012 |

As expected, all the captions for last week’s image were zingy and brilliant, except for those that weren’t. As I abhor democracy, I paid little attention to the Upvotes and have awarded the winners based solely on my boozy whimsy.

In the spirit of the Olympics, I would like to award third place, the bronze medal usually reserved for Canada, to becks2point0. Becks, there will be a parade for you in Sault St. Marie and a folk singer will write a song about you that all Canadian children will learn in grade two. Second place, normally reserved for the USA, goes to Stallonewolf, whose caption was filthy and brilliant, much like America. USA! USA! USA! Stallonewolf, you will be drug tested. And the winner, the place normally reserved for China, goes to L.O.V.E because he was dirty and he provided a video link.

This was his caption:

You gotta pay the troll toll / If you wanna get into my boy’s hole.

L.O.V.E. you get a DVD copy of Jersey Shore Shark Attack signed by Dustin Rowels. We do not know who this person is, but that’s who signed it. Send us your address, or the address of the person, institution or plot of land you want to receive this video, and we will send it.

And let this be a lesson to Stallonewolf and Becks2point0, videos count. If you can add a creepy video— like L.O.V.E did— to your submission, you would have destroyed him.

Once again, we have no idea how exactly the voting is going to take place, but we do know that there will be a winner and that the winner will receive a prize. The prizes, I believe, are coming from the basement of the Rowels family, and it is said that the Rowels were royalty many generations ago, so you never know, you might get some vinyl or something cool (Publisher’s Note: SyFy will be sending me free copies of Jersey Shore Shark Attack, so that’s what the winner will get for the next few weeks).

This week, the image, once again supplied by Replica, is this:

You can do whatever you want with this, of course, but I was thinking of us giving chapter headings to the book, a bio of the author, a story of how the book intersected with your life, a jacket blurb, or little snatches of prose from the novel. But do anything, you can make a video of your Lego miniatures acting out a scene from the book or anything else that might indulge your appetite.

I will start things off with this:


“By page 36 I knew I was gay.”

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.