A small, local cinema in Liverpool is planning to mark February 2nd — the day Bill Murray spent 33 years reliving in Groundhog Day — by giving cinemagoers the chance to experience a fraction of Bill Murray’s hell, and all without the perk of learning any number of amazing skills that Bill learned over the course of his odyssey. But then again they won’t have to put up with Andie MacDowell or Chris Elliott, so I guess that kind of evens out?
The event will run at the Small Cinema from 6am on Tuesday 2nd for a full 24 hours. I know what you’re thinking — they must have a cool, Groundhog Day-themed prize lined up for whichever aberrant humanoid finishes this marathon. Nope. There is no prize. None. You just sit there, in a cinema seat — which is comfortable for, at most, 3 hours — for 24 hours, watching a great, classic comedy slowly and gradually transmute before your eyes into a never-ending Dante-esque journey through purgatory, all the while fully aware that you’re using up 1/365th of your maybe-at-best 80 Earth cycles around the Sun envying Bill Murray’s many methods of suicide. The cinema has apparently said that people will ‘not be told off for nodding off’. Which if you ask me is a great disappointment. If you’re gonna do this, seal the doors and do it properly. I’d like to see anyone who falls asleep have ice cold water poured over their head, be loudly and personally berated and harangued, and then forbidden from changing clothes for the remainder of the marathon.
But, seriously — silly idea. Liverpudlians, if a friend suggests you undertake this, you know how to respond:
I mean, why stop there, Small Cinema of Liverpool? WHY STOP THERE?! Why not stage a screening of Hitchcock’s classic The Birds, and halfway through the movie lock the doors and let loose into the auditorium a hellish flock of half-starved cormorants with a taste for flesh?! Why not do a showing of The Revenant and tell a half-mad, bear-mauled Leonardo DiCaprio that one of the audience members is hiding an Oscar in their underwear?! Why not redo Gaspar Noe’s heinous and harrowing Irreversible and-…