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Kirk Cameron's 'Saving Christmas' Is Making History! (With How Bad Its Ratings Are)

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | December 5, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | December 5, 2014 |

Congratulations, Kirk Cameron, your bigoted, self-serving, shitpile of a movie is making history! I’t currently ranked #1 on IMDB. You must be so proud!

…What’s that? OH! Sorry, my mistake. It’s ranked #1… worst movie.

Yup, it’s ranked lower (or higher, depending on how you look at it!) than Birdemic, Manos: Hands of Fate and Paris Hilton’s movie. Not that this comes as any surprise. Not only is the movie’s premise itself completely dickish:

The movie’s plot has Cameron taking his brother-in-law away from a holiday party to explain to him that some of the best parts about Christmas are rooted in the Bible. In the movie’s trailer, Cameron explains: “Some want to pull down every manger scene and tell us why all of our favorite traditions are wrong. Isn’t it time somebody spoke up?”
That, by the way, sounds like my personal hell. To be trapped in a car with Kirk Cameron while he tells me why everything I do is wrong.

Anyway, not only is the premise made of vomit, but so is Cameron himself. He seems to have been under the impression that the only way to promote your movie is to step on everyone who didn’t like it. He’s been on a crusade to put the mean, cynical sinners in their place, basically saying not enjoying the movie is equivalent to purchasing a one-way ticket to Hellfire Central. The movie probably could have earned itself a spot in the bottom five, easy, but when you shit all over everyone who doesn’t love your intolerant preachy movie, that’s how you land in the #1 spot.

But don’t worry about Kirk, you guys. He’s gonna be just fine. Because he knows the real meaning of Christmas. Pure, noncommercial love. That, and his Jesus-approved Saving Christmas coffee line. Remember, Christmas isn’t about material goods. Unless they put money in Kirk Cameron’s pocket, then it’s TOTALLY part of the Christmas message. I mean, hey, he’s got to make that paper, right? How else is he going to keep throwing those lavish parties?