It's Only September and Halloween Has Already Been Ruined
Every holiday has its baggage, even the beautiful, near-perfect wonderland of Halloween. Where other days like Thanksgiving and Christmas have travel hell and family drama waiting to bring you down, Halloween gives us kids who can’t handle their sugar or adults who can’t handle their booze, and—of course— a parade of tasteless or oddly sexualized costumes. (Plus the obligatory costume apology parade starting November 1st.)
This year, though, we’re not even waiting to find out which celebrities decide to use the day for a (nonexistent) pass on racism to declare the day ruined. Nope, this year, we’re cancelling the entire day (YES I HAVE THAT AUTHORITY), thanks to Home Depot and the people behind its “Scary Peeper Creeper” Halloween decoration:
Okay, the idea of selling a peeping Tom decoration is pretty gross, but maybe you don’t think this is awful enough to warrant a full holiday cancellation. WELL THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT WITH THE LIGHTS OUT YET.
NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE. Oh, and there’s also a “tapping” version. Hooray.
The product is described as the best way to be an asshole to your friends and strangers outside of April Fool’s Day.
Perfect for scaring friends and family during Halloween or any other time of the year. Hang facing out to freak out trick-or-treaters during Halloween or mount him facing in to scare unsuspecting guests at your Halloween party.
Do you think this sounds like a fun prank? Well then, sorry to break it to you, but all your friends actually hate you. A man looking in your window— as one Home Depot customer pointed out, leading to the company pulling this crap from their stores— ISN’T FUN FOR ANYONE. Like, say, women.
In this promotional video from 2012, you can see how the dudes who created this 100% don’t get how terrifying this is for anyone who’s not a group of dudes. Their “actual footage” shows a woman losing her shit and crying after seeing it on her bedroom window, followed by an argument over whether it’s “scary” (her word) or “fantastic” (theirs, obviously).
HALLOWEEN IS OFFICIALLY CANCELLED THIS YEAR. Thanks, gross decoration face.