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I Really Do Envy Her Lipstick Collection

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 15, 2014 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 15, 2014 |

American Idol on Fox at 8:00pm ET. 13th season premiere. Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez, and Keith Urban are the judges this go around. I always wonder if the producers have some kind of hierarchy of personal tragedy they work off of to cast the audition show. I mean, you can’t let ANYONE with a sob story get on camera or onto the next round. But you’ve got to have a few, and I’m sure they’ve got their preferences. I’d like to see it, just out of morbid curiosity.

Arrow on The CW at 8:00pm ET. Second season winter premiere.

Criminal Minds on CBS at 9:00pm ET. Ninth season winter premiere. This episode focuses on Penelope Garcia, the technical analyst of the team. I’m a bit up and down on the character, just because it seems like some writers do a better job of making her a real person as opposed to an exposition machine in cute glasses. Anyway, we get to find out how she came to work for Hotch so if you’ve spend nine seasons wondering about that, wonder no more.

American Horror Story on FX at 10:00pm ET.

My Strange Addiction on TLC at 10:00pm ET. I have to tell you all, just reading the titles of these episodes gives me a flavor for how varied and unpredictable humans can be and I dearly wish I could go back to a time when I wasn’t as aware of those things.

Genevieve Burgess finds humanity deeply troubling most days, and TLC isn’t helping that.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.